Week of the Turtle

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In the news, all I ever seem to hear about is the Swine Flu, otherwise known as the H1N1 virus. It can strike people in unexpected ways, sometimes with deadly results.

The Swine Flu is horrible, and we all need to do everything we can to stop its spread, but it isn’t the only flu out there we need to be concerned about. This past week I was bogged down…by the Turtle Flu.

I know it was the Turtle Flu because I had all the classic symptoms. All food resembled worms to me. A pleasant hello from a family member was rewarded by a gruff snap.

But the most telling symptom was my speed. I mmmmooooovvvvveeeeeddddd vvvvveeeerrrrryyyyy ssssslllllooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy. (Yes, it was as irritating for me doing it as it is for you reading it.)

My family caught the brunt of my illness, but even the neighbors, who I didn’t even catch sight of all week, suffered. My dog, who percieves her territory as consisting of everything within a 3-mile radius, spent the better part of the week barking at every noise–real and imagined. Instead of calming her like normal and using her barking as a training opportunity, the Turtle Flu dictated my response. I pulled my head deeper into my shell of covers and floated off into a sea of dreams.

Dreams punctuated by irritating, high-pitched, never-ending barks, but dreams nonetheless.

I am getting a bit more energy now, and I look forward to resuming my normal life. Food once again looks like food, I can talk instead of snap, and I am able to move from one side of the room to the other in under 20 minutes.

So as you are protecting yourself from the H1N1 virus, more commonly known as the Swine Flu, don’t forget to also protect yourself from its irritating little cousin, the Turtle Flu. No one deserves to have a week of the turtle. No one.

What do you think?