A writing experiment

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I love to try new ways of writing, just in case there’s a better way out there that I haven’t yet discovered.

Only, well, lately I have had very little time for writing experiments.

As a matter of fact, during all the moving mess of the past six months I’ve had very few opportunities to do any writing. The disruptions to the daily routine that happen when your house is on the market is not in the least conducive to a good writing environment.

So many brokers called to schedule a viewing that I quickly learned to hate my phone. It went from being a toy of communication to a tool of bondage. It distracted me away from writing like nothing else ever has.

For me, it just doesn’t work to be deep in a storyline and have to dig myself out to answer the phone.

So when I read a book that laid out, step-by-step, the similarities of every successful movie, I decided to do an experiment. I’d create a beat sheet based on the points listed in the book, and use it as an outline for a movie.

My experiment had to wait until the calls for showings halted, which wasn’t until we found a buyer for our house.

Unfortunately, the buyer wanted some changes done to the house before the sale was finalized.

I was so frustrated by the time I had already lost that I sat down in the living room and hammered out the beat sheet while a maelstrom of workers rewired my house.

That night after the workers left I reread the beat sheet and was pleased with the story I had created. It had everything the book listed as necessary for a successful movie, as well as everything I had learned about storytelling.

But–and this is rather important–no matter how many times I tried to sit down and write the screenplay, I just couldn’t do it. Something didn’t feel right. The beat sheet worked as a beat sheet, but not as an outline. I couldn’t convert it to the next stage.

Since then weeks have gone by and I’m now in my new apartment. This morning I got out the beat sheet and decided to give it another go.

It was still no good. Something didn’t flow. It felt wrong.

So I pushed the beat sheet away and started from scratch. And by scratch I mean the beat sheet stopped being an outline and became a series of suggestions.

Words flowed from my fingers like magic.

Which is why I call this experiment in writing a success. Everyone has their own writing method. For me, too much structure is just as bad as not enough.

I need wiggle room to write.

 

Sta-sta-staticky

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“Your phone was cutting out and I just pretended that I could hear what you were saying.”

That was the excuse I got.

I had arrived home at 8:30 am to find two workers under my house digging away. This was after I had been given assurances just yesterday that no more work would be done on the house while we were still in residence.

After all, if the new owners want work done they can live with the hammering and the dust, not us. We’ve done our part.

As soon as I saw the guys I tried to talk to them to let them know a mistake had been made. Unfortunately, they didn’t speak a word of English.

So one guy took out his cell phone and called his office.

I had explained the problem and started a dialog when the call was dropped. I waited for the guy to call back so we could finish our conversation but he never did.

So I retrieved my own phone and called. I explained that no work was to be done until we moved out because I’m prone to migraines and the work they had already done had triggered one. The guy on the phone said no problem, he’d tell the men to leave.

Fifteen minutes went by. The men under my house continued to work.

I was relieved when they headed for the truck, until I realized that they were getting more supplies. So I stopped them and gestured for them to call their office. My assumption was that they had somehow not gotten the message that my house was no longer on their schedule.

That’s when the man on the line told me he hadn’t heard a word I had said since the phone had cut out multiple times. He had only been placating me, making me feel better.

Except, that old phone-cutting-out story doesn’t hold water. Because during that supposedly sta-sta-staticky call he had repeated my very words back to me multiple times. Verbatim.

Strange that he could do that and still not hear me.

He ended with, “All you had to do was ask and I would have sent the workers away.”

Funny, that’s what I thought I had done.

 

Some kind of -ism?

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It must an -ism of some sort. There’s no other logical explanation.

Maybe it’s blondism, the deep dislike and distrust of women with blond hair. I used to run into this one at some job interviews. The questions I was asked just because I’m blond! Unbelievable! And, I might add, inappropriate.

But wait, my husband isn’t blond. Maybe I’m being too specific by focusing on hair color. It could be simply that we both have hair. That’s it, hairism, the distrust of people with hair.

No, that doesn’t work either. Now that I think about it, most of the leasing agents had plenty of hair.

But something’s going on. Maybe it’s paleism (I don’t tan), hygienism (I take regular showers), ageism (I’m not in my twenties), moneyism (too much or too little?), or average-height-and-weightism. It’s a mystery which kind of -ism is disrupting my life, only that there is one.

Because honestly, there’s no way this is a coincidence. Apartment shopping shouldn’t be this frustrating.

In the last few weeks I’ve had a zillion conversations such as this one:

Agent: “Sure, we’ve got just the two bedroom apartment you want. It’s a corner one, so it gets extra light. The rent is $2100 a month and the square footage is 1083. Do you want to come see it?”
Me: “Love to. I can be there in an hour.”
Agent: “Great. See you at 11.”

Shortly followed by this one:

Me: “I have an appointment to see the two bedroom.”
Agent: “Okay. How much do you want to spend?”
Me: “No. I called. I already know you have a 1083 sq. ft. apartment that rents for $2100 a month-”
Agent: “You’ve been misinformed. Those people in the central office never know what we have. How much do you want to spend?”
Me: “Well…we definitely want to keep it below $2500-”
Agent: “Ohhh. Well, we have a 750 sq. ft. apartment that goes for $2600. Would you like to see that?”

Okay, a zillion might be overstating it a bit. It was more like twenty. But isn’t even twenty a little suspicious?

The first couple of times I thought it was just bad luck. But it happened too often, way too often.

And since the price of the apartment didn’t change until we showed up and the leasing agent got a look at us I know that an -ism, of some sort, must at work.

Even if I don’t know what kind.

At least I know it isn’t racism. As far as I can tell not a one of the leasing agents was from a different planet.  No room for racism when we’re all a part of the human race.

Visits and Vacations

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Keeping My Family Fit When They Visit Me in Chicago
by Kendra Thornton
One of my priorities,
whether I’m at home or traveling, is staying fit and cooking healthy meals for
my family. Living in Chicago, this is fairly easy to do with such a wide
selection of stores, restaurants, fitness centers and other resources. Right
now, I’m getting ready for a visit from some family members and I’m focusing on
what I can do to feed them healthy meals and maybe even convert them to a
healthier way of life when they return home! That has gotten me thinking about
some of my favorite strategies for staying fit.
When my family
arrives next month, I’m going to take them all over Chicago and show them some
of the attractions. As much as possible, I’m going to do this on foot so
everybody gets plenty of exercise. I also find it’s much better to see
everything up close rather than from the window of a bus or taxi. As we explore
the city, I’m also going to come up with as many healthy activities as
possible. I may arrange for everyone to rent some bikes so we can take a bike
ride through one of the city’s parks. The point is, many touristy activities
can be healthy if you focus on staying in motion.
Whenever I travel, I
always make sure I stay at a
hotel that has a gym, and there are plenty of those in Chicago. That way I
can start off each day with a quick workout. This makes me feel more energized
for the day’s activities and it helps to offset any extra calories I might
consume while on vacation. That’s why I recommended that my family do the same
thing when they arrive in town next month. I pointed out that even a half hour
workout makes a big difference when it comes to burning off calories and
helping you maintain your fitness routine.
When my family comes
to visit, we’ll surely be eating out quite a few times. That gives me the
opportunity to introduce them to the concept of eating local foods. This is
something I’ve been doing for the last couple of years, both at home and on the
road. Chicago, for example, has lots of shops that sell local foods as well as
farmer’s markets. There are also some great restaurants that specialize in
local produce and animal products. This type of food is fresher, healthier and
more environmentally friendly than items that have been shipped for thousands
of miles. Restaurants that serve local food also tend to be
more health conscious in general, which means we end up eating nutritious
meals that also taste great!
Chicago has lots of
parks, bike paths and areas that are great for running. I’m going to check the
Internet to find some of the ones that I may not be familiar with. That way,
when my family arrives, I can lead them on some walks or jogs. The best time to
do this is early in the morning. That way, there’s still plenty of time for
sightseeing the rest of the day. There’s no better way to start the day than
with a vigorous power walk or run!

When I go with my
family on vacation, I do everything I can to keep everybody on a healthy diet
and ensure we get plenty of exercise. This is an extension of my goals
throughout the year. Just as I send my kids off to school with healthy lunches
and encourage them to participate in sports, I look for ways to practice these
habits when we’re traveling. When I have extended family visiting from out of
town, I share my philosophy of living a fit lifestyle with them.
 
It’s All About Balance
by Veronica Tabares
 
When it comes to successful vacations, balance is the name
of the game.
 
We’ve all seen, and maybe even felt, the live-for-today,
tomorrow-will-take-care-of-itself kind of vacation. Overindulgence is the
keyword, which results in backaches, stomachaches, and skin burnt to a crisp.
 
Honestly. Tell people they’re on vacation and caution and
commonsense fly out the window. They eat, play, and drink indiscriminately. Tomorrow
will take care of itself, indeed.
 
It’s as if they’ve never spent a minute inside their own body.
How could they fail to remember that a body never
forgets a wrong? Revenge will be
exacted, usually at the most inopportune moment.
 
That’s where balance comes in to play. Give a body balance
and it’ll love you forever. Bodies adore balance.
 
Once I learned the importance of balance, vacations, and
their aftermath, got instantly more satisfying. The first trick I use to infuse
balance is to follow an exercise intensive day with a day of relaxation. The
second is to begin and end every day with a nutritious meal that includes
plenty of healthy protein.
 
It’s amazing how willing everyone is to eat healthy when
they’ve had a good dose of treats during the day.
 
After all, it’s all about balance.

Land of the shut-your-mouth

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I’m so confused!

On one hand, I deplore the racist words said by Donald Sterling.

On the other, I believe people have the right to say whatever they want in private conversation, no matter how stupid or uncool. After all, a private conversation is meant to be just that, private.

(And who among us hasn’t said a few idiotic comments that we’d rather not have publicized? Especially in the midst of an argument.)

I’d like to know when it became acceptable to tape a private conversation and put it out there for all the world to hear. It happens so often nowadays that I’m beginning to wonder if we’ve been infected with a strange lack-of-commensense virus.

Eek! I can see it now. It’s the aliens. They caused this epidemic of taping and posting. They’re just waiting for us to create rifts so huge and so wide that we’ll never be able to work together again, and then they’ll swoop in and take over the world.

Well played, aliens. Smart of you to use our own technology against us.

Anyway…

Whatever the reason, there seems to be no such thing as privacy left in the world. Or freedom of speech.

And here I thought I lived in the Land of the Free, not the Land of the Shut-Your-Mouth.

Picture of a good story

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Everyone has a favorite type of story. Some like deep, dark mysteries that keep a person guessing whodunit until the very last minute.

Others enjoy light-hearted comedies that give the brain a rest, but exercise the lungs and mouth with mile-wide grins and near-painful laughter.
Still others love to dive into the swampy goo of horror and immerse themselves in the creepiest, scariest, bone-chillingist shivers they can find.
It’s all personal preference.
But no matter the type, all the stories, if they are really good, are like this picture.
Layers, color, and texture (Lots to think about! I wonder what’s behind…)
Recognizable (Hey! That reminds me of…)
But with an unexpected slant (Wow! I never expected…)

Shadow, light, and color

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Who cares if it’s just a simple vase of flowers that catches the eye as I walk in the door.

Or an interesting shadow created by a solitary ray of sun that manages to muscle it’s way though the clouds at what should be an impossible angle.

It’s beautiful, this fleeting but perfect combination of light, shadow, and color.

These gifts are all around us. We only have to take the time to look.

So go look already!

 

Our guests from Jupiter

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The aliens were a shock to me too.

Over the years I’ve seen a ton of movies about aliens. The aliens ranged from scary monsters with big teeth dripping with slobber to cute little creatures with long arms and a loving disposition. Some of them came in peace, and some to take over the world.
No one got it right. I don’t remember a single movie with aliens that match what aliens are truly like. Just goes to show that the human imagination might not be quite as fantastic as we think!
But then again, no one thought a gas giant like Jupiter could support life, much less a flourishing civilization.
I guess our scientists got so caught up with what was needed to support life on Earth that they forgot that life on other planets might not follow the same rules.
Not that the Jupiterians follow anyone’s rules. They’re kind of a rambunctious bunch, floating around, playing practical jokes and snickering. To me they resemble mischievous children more than serious scientists from another planet.
But there I go again, falling into that same old trap and allowing preconceived notions to cloud my vision. Scientists on Earth tend to be serious, but we know practically nothing about the culture of the Jupiterians. This group might be serious, compared to the other Jupiterians back home.
Once we learn to communicate with the little fellows I’m sure–
Darn it! They just buzzed my dog. They didn’t hurt her, they just gave her a funny haircut. It’s going to take a while for that to grow out.
Fifty years from now we’ll look back on today, the day Jupiterians came to Earth, and laugh. I’m sure by then we will have worked out something with the little creatures to keep them from being so darn irritating.
In the meantime, watch where you step and keep a close eye on your pets. Those Jupiterians seem to particularly enjoy playing pranks on pets.
Oh yes, and don’t forget to enjoy the day.
April Fool’s Day can be a lot of fun.

The slam of the door

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SLAM!


The unique sound of the front door shutting reverberated through the house and woke me out of a deep sleep.

It was a normal morning occurrence. No matter how hard my husband tried to leave for work quietly the front door always slammed. It was just one of those doors.

I yawned and stretched as I got out of bed and began to think about the upcoming day. I had a lot I needed to accomplish in just one day. I decided that a checklist was in order.

But first I needed coffee. As I walked past my daughter’s door I glanced in and noticed she was still peacefully sleeping. I was a little envious, but only a little. After all, the items on my soon-to-be created checklist weren’t going to do themselves.

Still groggy with sleep I went down the stairs and into the kitchen. It was only after I’d made my coffee and taken the first sip that the background noise I’d heard from the moment I awoke, but somehow not registered, stopped.

The sound of the shower.

It only took a few minutes for my freshly showered husband to appear in the kitchen, dressed and ready to head out the door to work.

Which left me with a mystery. If my daughter and I were asleep and my husband was in the shower, who had slammed the front door?