Mind math

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I don’t understand how it works, but on days I’m having trouble writing if I give myself a goal of a measly 100 words I somehow end up with at least 500.

But if I go for 500, I’ll often give up at 50.

The brain is a strange thing. It’s sometimes lazy and needs to be tricked into doing work.

Mine likes to be tricked by math, especially the kind that’s so convoluted that it doesn’t exist in the normal world.

Ever heard of equations that prove 100=500 while 500=50?
Yeah. Me neither.

Twists and turns, meant to confuse.

Mind math.

Works for me!

 

Excerpt – continued

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A scene from Time Without.

There was a slight change in air pressure, followed a gentle click as the door latched.
“Funny guys, real funny,” a woman’s voice said. “Who’s the
jokester who locked the door?”
At the sound of the voice my tense body twitched. That voice.
Why did that voice sound so familiar to me?
The mass of arms and legs below me began to squirm and shift. A small arm shot out of the pile. I shoved it back in.
“Ouch, Zoe! Watch your elbow,” I heard Becca say. “That was
my face!”
“Be quiet,” I whispered as quietly as I could.
“It wasn’t me,” Zoe whispered back to Becca. Either she hadn’t heard my plea for silence or she was ignoring it. “I’m by Maddie. That was Audrey’s elbow.”
“Shhhhh,” I hissed, this time a bit louder.
“Be quiet!” Maddie whispered in a super-loud hiss. “Mommy
said to be quiet.”
“Why?” Audrey asked from just below my ear.  
“Girls,” I tried again, “hush.”
In the silence that followed I strained my ears to hear. If I
could figure out—
“The monster’s coming,” Zoe whispered.
Any more and I’d be telling. This is all you get. Until the book comes out, that is.

Writing vs House Inspecting

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I think I’ve chosen the wrong profession.

As writer I spend hours, days, sometimes even years working on projects that might not make a single penny. All the work is done upfront, but payment is never a sure thing.

There are no guarantees. I get paid only when someone buys a book. Period.

Compare that to house inspectors. Yesterday I hired one to inspect a house my husband and I wanted to make an offer on. He showed up and began the inspection, but almost immediately realized that the house was a money pit. Everything was falling apart, and the cost of the repairs would break our budget.

I was given the choice to stop the inspection and told that since he had other billable work he could move on to, he wouldn’t charge me for the time he hadn’t spent of the job.

Sounded good to me. He wouldn’t lose out since he could pick up a job he had thought he didn’t have time for, and I could refrain from paying for work I now didn’t need.

Later that evening I got the bill. $391.40. I asked if it was a mistake, but was assured that the figure was correct. The bill was almost $400, for less than 30 minutes of work.

Which is why I just might consider changing careers.
I could handle crawling around in creepy crawlspaces, couldn’t I?

An excerpt

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Believe it or not, the book is NOT about a monster. Not that you could tell by what I wrote today. Here’s a small excerpt.

 I gulped as I
remembered the rusted hinges and the hidden lock on the door. Someone had wanted
that door to remain closed, probably to keep out the monster standing in the
doorway.
I had unlocked that door. Whatever happened next, it was my
fault.
A quick scan of the room showed me that there was not a calm
face in sight. Everyone in the room shared Dr. Wilson’s dread of the unknown
creature.
The monster took a step forward, which unnerved me, but not
as much as the whoosh of air that suddenly blew past my arm.
Even before I turned and saw the flash of white disappear
around the corner, I knew what had happened.
We had been abandoned, ditched, left to fend for ourselves.
Every man in the room, including Dr. Wilson, had turned tail and run.
My daughters and I were alone in the room. Alone, that was, except
for the monster.   
I watched in horror as the creature took another step into
the room and reached out a claw to grab the doorknob.       

At this point, I panicked. The only way out would take us
directly in front of that door. So I did the only thing I could think of. I
shoved my children down to the floor and tossed myself on top of them. If we
were lucky, the monster wouldn’t notice us. But if it did, at least it would
have to go through me before it got to my kids.

A little rough, I know. But that’s how first drafts should be. I’ll clean it up and make it all pretty in the rewrites.

 

Hot mess = Seattle’s housing market

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Don’t let those reality house hunting shows fool you. House hunting isn’t as simple as a broker showing you three houses, you choose your favorite, and BOOM, you’ve got a house.

Especially not in Seattle, where the housing market is a hot mess.

My husband and I should know, since we’ve been in the trenches for six months.

Six months of diligently searching house-for-sale sites. We found it’s necessary to search multiple sites, since no one site lists all the homes. We finally narrowed it to three favorites, Windermere, Redfin, and Zillow.

The problem is that by this time we’ve had six months of scanning beautiful houses pics, only to be disappointed with the in-person viewing.

Pictures might be worth a thousand words, but not all of those words are truthful.
Photoshop, you’ve got a lot of ‘splaining to do!

We don’t want to waste anyone’s time so we only put an offer in if it seems we can be competitive. Yet we’ve been outbid four times. Four times!

I’ve never seen that happen in those reality shows.

The last house we lost, just yesterday, was the worst.

The house went on the market late Tuesday night. I visited it Thursday morning, and liked it. My broker checked with the seller’s broker Thursday night and was told they would be reviewing offers on Sunday. We ordered an inspection for Friday morning. (Cost = $409)

I showed up in the middle of the inspection to find my broker upset. He had just gotten a call from the seller’s broker, telling him that the house was sold! His time was wasted, my time was wasted, and my husband and I are out $409. All because the sellers weren’t considerate enough to let us know they were going to change the game midfield.

Now our pocketbook is lighter.
But at least we have an inspection report for a house we’ll never set foot in again in our entire lives!

Update:
Now I am officially impressed. Our broker didn’t like the way things happened, so we’re getting our money back! He said it is the Windermere way.

Wow!

Well said, Penny!

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HERE ARE 10 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO HELP SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR.
By Penny Sansevieri

1. Review the book
I’ve been doing an experiment with a book that I published anonymously. I included an email address for readers, to write and share their thoughts on the book. I was shocked at all of the emails I got. Most of them complimentary (whew) and many of them asking when I’d write another book (something every author wants to hear). I would write them, thank the, and ask if they had the time, would they consider reviewing it on Amazon? This has netted me over fifty reader reviews.
Authentic opinions about the book, written by a reader. Fantastic, yes? Readers are some of the best resources for reviews. If you are an author, ask for a review. You might even include a note at the end of the book to your readers inviting them to review it and telling them why. I’m surprised that many readers don’t write reviews, it’s not because they’re lazy but because they wonder if their opinion matters. Guess what? It does!
Like a book? Please review it. Even if you don’t like it review it, too. Most authors welcome feedback if it’s constructive. Always be positive.
2. Video reviews 
If you’re ready to take this a step further, why not offer a video review? Amazon lets you do this and I know, as an author, I would be thrilled if someone reviewed my book on video! If you do this, send the video clip via Dropbox or YouSendit and keep the clip to under a minute. Hold up the book and smile!
3. Photo sharing
This is another thing that I would love so much. A reader holding up my book, snapping a picture and posting it on social media! This is a fun, visual way to share your love for a book. Even better, snap a picture where you’re reading it. Taking a book on vacation? Why not show yourself enjoying the book (cover out!) laying in a hammock or sitting somewhere sipping espresso (Paris?). If you don’t have any travel planned, take a picture anyway. Authors love, love this so much!
4. Local bookstores
Though it may seem like every author who is published gets a shot at bookstore shelf space, the truth is, most don’t. If you’ve found a book you love and had to buy it on Amazon because your local store didn’t carry it, tell them. Bookstore managers have told me if they get multiple requests for a book they will consider stocking it.
5. Reading groups
This is often a tough one for authors to get into. Reading groups are a fantastic way to get the word out about your book but many are tough to reach and often pick their books months in advance. Unlike The Pulpwood Queens, which has a website and a strong online presence, most local book clubs don’t have that kind of exposure –  but their regional reach can be fantastic.
If you know of a local book club, let them know about this book and put them in touch with the author. It’s a quick thing to do and I speak from experience when I say that any author would be very, very grateful to have this kind of a connection.
6. Buy the book for a friend
This is pretty basic. If you love the book you just read, buy a copy for a friend. I do this almost every year for Christmas. If I love a book, I gift it. When you do, remind the person to review it.
7. Social Media
Sharing has become part of our lives. We share good and bad news, but when was the last time you shared what you are reading? Here’s where that great picture you just took of you reading a book can come in handy. Or even better, hop on over to Goodread,s or Library Thing and share your love for this author to the millions listening there.
8. Bookmarks
Most authors will get things printed, like bookmarks, postcards, etc. Bookmarks are especially fun because despite the eBook surge, many of us are still reading printed books. Email the author and see if he or she will send you a stack that you can share with your local library or bookstore. Leave them at the counter or pop them inside of similar books. Sort of like Amazon’s, “Other customers also bought…”
I know of a few times when this has happened, the authors are blown away and grateful. Ask for the bookmarks and the next time you’re at a bookstore drop them off. Easy, and the authors will really appreciate the local exposure.
9. Authors on tour
It’s not often that authors tour anymore but if you have someone coming to your area, why not offer to help them get the word out? Maybe drop off fliers, or if you are so inclined, call your local paper and let them know this author is coming to town and as a reader, you’d love for the paper to do a story on them.
Getting a heads up about an author coming to town from a reader can be ten times more effective than even a well-polished pitch. Why? Because the media is serving the local community and if a resident is sharing an idea, they’re bound to listen.
10. Libraries 
Authors can have a tough time getting their books into libraries, so why not buy an extra book and donate it? Then let the author know that you did this so they can let readers know where they can check out the book at a local library. I know most authors would love to have a reader do this. It’s impossible to reach everyone and most authors don’t have the budget to do a library pitch on top of everything else. Many will submit their books to publications that librarians read and hope for the best. Having a local connection is a fantastic way to get a book some local exposure.
*  *  *
When I’ve offered these tips in a session, someone will pop up and say, “But big named authors don’t need this kind of help.” That’s possibly quite true, but if you’re only reading big names, you’re missing out on a whole crop of wonderful new writers. And, frankly, authors, no matter how big, will appreciate the help. The publishing world isn’t just shrinking for the little guy, it’s shrinking for every author.
As a reader, you have a unique opportunity to make a difference and help out an author who has poured their heart and soul into a book.
 
From Writers in the Storm . Reposted with permission.

Pepper, the psychic dog?

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My dog often acts in strange ways, like she knows something I don’t.

It never bothered me before. After all, dogs are known to have keener senses than humans.

But that was when I assumed that meant she could smell and hear better.

Now, I’m not so sure that’s all there is to it. Something more seems to be going on.

You see, my dog, Pepper, always comes into my office and takes a nap at my feet as I write.

But if she had done that this time, instead of uncharacteristically watching from the doorway, she would have been scalded by the hot coffee I spilled all over her favorite spot.

Which makes me wonder, is Pepper a psychic dog?

What exactly is going on behind all that fur?

A novel in progress

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An excerpt from the novel I’m currently writing. It’ll be a sequel to DTA (Department of Temporal Adjustment), but can be read as a stand-alone.

So on we trudged, the sound of our footsteps punctuated by gentle baby snores. My daughters shuffled along at my side, too afraid to make a sound and shoulders hunched in fear. They were true products of their culture—little mice, scared to do more than scramble for cover at the first sign of danger.

We passed a group of boys wrestling on the ground like a squirmy pile of puppies. To me it was obvious they were entertaining themselves as they waited for the school bus, but my daughters cringed and scurried away, intimidated by this public display of rambunctiousness.

Several blocks later we came across a second group of boys, also waiting for a bus. But instead of wrestling these boys had chosen to kick a soccer ball around. It got away from one of the boys and rolled over to Maddie, who kicked it back without thinking. The boys gave
her a wave and continued to practice passes.

I nearly laughed aloud when I noticed the expression on Maddie’s face. It was strange combination of fear and wonder, and I knew it was brought on by her realization that she had just interacted with boys, and interacted as an equal. My daughters had been raised in a world where men ruled and women obeyed. Equality was not something they had ever thought about.

But I thought about it. A lot. As soon as those crazy, extra memories swirled into my head I began to mourn what had been lost to the world. So much potential—the intelligence and creativity of more than half the population—discarded like so much trash.

What a waste!

It didn’t need to be this way. It was wrong, all wrong. The world was broken, and no one even knew it.

Bureaucracy does not promote happy thoughts

Man, oh man, alive! (I don’t really know what that means, but I heard it in an old movie, and it somehow fits the experience I just had.)


Bureaucracy. It kills happy thoughts faster than a needle pops an overinflated balloon.

It all started when I received a late notice for a student loan on Saturday.
Only, there was no way the payment was late. I had paid. Early, in fact.

So this morning was spent on the phone with the ‘bureau’ that has my student loan.

It only took about an hour to finally find out what had happened.

  1. I paid my payment, due February 14, on February 4th (10 days early).
  2. On February 9th the ‘bureau’ changed my status and cut my payment nearly in half. (Nice!) I was not notified of the change.
  3. On February 14th, my account was marked as delinquent since in the 5 days since the status had changed I hadn’t paid this new, more reasonable amount. (Not nice!)
  4. To add to the craziness I was told that the payment I’d already sent for March, which is just short of twice the new payment I owe, wouldn’t even bring the account up-to-date. I would need to send more money.
Makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?
So I argued, and argued, and argued that they couldn’t bill me twice in one month, and I shouldn’t be dinged for a mistake they made.
I was told repeatedly that the black mark on my account would stay, and that I needed to send in more money.
So much for logic and commonsense.
After an hour of arguing I asked for a supervisor.
After another 30 minute wait I got to talk to one. She put me on hold for a while and finally agreed that the mistake was their’s, I was not late, and I did not need to send extra money. She even promised to fix it all, if I would give her 2-3 days so she could send it to the proper department.
Lovely.
Now I’ll have to check back at the end of the week to make sure everything is cleared up. Because it’s about as easy to trust bureaucracy as it is to spell it.
Wish me luck! I want those happy thoughts back!

Over a house? Really?

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My husband and I are shopping for a new home.  It’s a horrible process that’s brought me in contact with an unbelievable number of houses that I’ve hated, a few houses I’ve liked, and two that made me feel like I was coming home.

Those two we put offers on.

In each case, as I waited to hear good news from our broker, I’d gaze at the pictures of the my new house online and plan what color I’d paint each room. I’d choose where I’d put my office. I’d imagine innumerable holiday celebrations, barbecues, and birthday parties.

In other words, I let myself believe, and believe rather strongly, that the house would be ours. That it was fate.

Only it wasn’t. In both instances, we were outbid.

I feel a little silly admitting that with the loss of each house I went through a version of the grieving process.

It hurt.

But never, not in a million years, would I ever dream of revenge as solution to my out-of-proportion grief. Especially not against the people who outbid me. People who most likely were just like my family, looking for a good home to build some great memories.

So when I heard about the woman in San Diego I could only shake my head.
Where has all the commonsense gone?

In case you haven’t heard about it, here’s one of the many articles written about the whole mess:
http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-dream-house-20141126-story.html

With adults who should know better acting like this, it’s little wonder many of our teens bully each other.

Blah!

By the way, she ruined this family’s life, targeted them with all kinds of mayhem, and that’s all the punishment she gets?
Sheesh!