Ironic, isn’t it? I wrote a book about bullies (Gray Zone), and now I’m the target of a couple of them.
No biggie. I’ve been the target of bullies before. I think it’s because I’m blond and smile a lot, so people who don’t know me think I’d be easy to intimidate. They probably even buy into that blond airhead nonsense.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Beware of stereotypes.
It’s a shame, really, that bullies even exist. But I believe, unpleasant as the thought may be, that we’ll never be truly rid of them. After all, bullies have been around since the first caveman stubbed his toe on a rock, then turned and punched the little guy beside him in anger. A bully just can’t accept that he’s the cause of his own pain. He always looks for someone else to blame. (Note: I used ‘he’ as a convenience. There are many female bullies.)
We need to raise our children to take responsibility for their actions and to care about the welfare of others. But that’ll take a while.
What we can change more quickly is the way we react to these mega-meanies. We’ve got to make it uncool to bully, socially unacceptable to pick on someone who seems weaker.
Oh, you think that we’ve done that already? Think again!
Name the last movie or television show that glorified good manners or gentleness. Come on, I’m waiting.
Not easy, is it? Especially since revenge, barbed comments, and punches are what bring cheers from the audience.
Funny that these are all things that the bully dishes out.
Is he waiting for his applause?
Hang in there, I know you have what it takes.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
The hard part is not retaliating, which would make me just as bad as the bullies.
I won't let them do that to me. I won't let them bring me down to their level.
I won't let the bullies win.
I used to be a victim of bullying, and let me make this plain and clear… The bullies tend to either:
1. Feel like the victim.
2. Desire the attention that comes from bullying.
Either way it is completely unacceptable, and the whole no retaliation concept is a rather obscure one to me. Bullies who do not face retaliation see you as weak and feel that they can continue to get away with treating you that way. Once they get a taste of their own medicine, they can empathise with those who they have been bullying and stop themselves from doing it to others.
Most bullies I've run into know so little about empathy that they probably can't even spell it.
They see the world through self-centered glasses that blinds them to the viewpoint of other people.
Retaliation would only cause an escalation of the bullying behavior, since the bully sees retaliation as an unprovoked attack.
But just because I'm not engaging doesn't mean that I'll be seen as weak.
These bullies are just gnats. They might irritate me, but they can't do me real harm.
Veronica makes a very good point. Retaliation is most cases only leads to an escalation in the bullying, and more often than not most bullies see retaliation as an unprovoked attack or as if they are being bullied. It is a tricky issue indeed, but doing nothing at all to stop the issue in my opinion is not a viable option.
I agree that doing nothing isn't a very good option.
When these bullies attacked they made the mistake of crossing the line. I immediately called the police and filed a report against them.
They now know that there is a line they cannot cross. It doesn't stop everything, but it helps.
Calling the police is always the best measure to take when bullying cross the line as you put it. Whilst it might seem to some like you are almost hiding behind them, in fact you are showing that you are not willing to taking crap from people. Good on you!
He took it rather far. He threatened to slam a log into my face. He stopped just an inch from my nose.
Based on his response when the police went to talk to him I don't think anyone has ever called the police on him before.