Yesterday I saw part of Oprah’s interview with Justin Bieber.
Oprah asked Justin if it was true that he wanted to get married before he was twenty-five. Justin replied that it was, so Oprah told him he should rethink that decision.
As if she could in any way be considered an expert at marriage, at any age!
I was married at twenty-three and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Some people might say that I got lucky. Well, yeah!
But luck isn’t everything. My husband and I work at our marriage. We always have.
We are no more perfect than any other couple. Every so often we fall into bad habits. We bicker. We sneer. We put our own wishes before those of our spouse.
And then one or the other of us will remember our first date. Or maybe I should say dates.
For our first date we drove with another couple seventy-five miles to New Orleans. While there all of our keys, money, etc. was stolen, leaving us stranded.
On our second date someone slashed the tires of my new car.
On our third date someone shattered the back window of my car.
For the fourth date someone else had to drive because my now beat up new car wouldn’t start.
Some people might have viewed the run of misfortunes as a sign that we were poison for each other. But we’re made of sterner stuff.
Instead of running from the problems, we simply dealt with them. We got a locksmith to replace our stolen keys, fixed the flats, replaced the rear window, and took my car in for maintenance.
But most telling of all, we talked. A lot. The night of the window-shattering incident, with the glass from the rear window still glistening on my backseat, we sat in the moonlight and talked about everything under the stars. Literally.
You see, adversity can either push you apart or pull you together. We were fortunate to begin our relationship in a flood of the stuff. We learned early on that we could handle problems together.
Our first week was a test of compatibility and we passed with flying colors.
Which is why I say that the age at which you marry (within reason) is not nearly as important as who you marry.
Trust, friendship, and the ability to communicate are the best building blocks of a good marriage. That and the willingness to put in the effort.
The love my husband and I share is layered, deep, and very, very strong.
My husband is my best friend.