Perceptions and Illusions

I--like many people in this big bad world--have had my share of times I trusted the wrong person. Times I took a person at his/her word, and believed that that person would act in a manner consistent with my moral code.

Only to have my faith in humanity cracked and my heart broken just a bit.

Silly of me, I know, since I am old enough to know better. It is one of the lessons that children learn while still in school.

One instance I remember vividly did happen in school--only it was college, not elementary school.

Once upon a time, in a far away land called the University of Washington, I was studying to be an archaeologist. I had the good fortune to get into a practicuum at the Burke Museum, and I was having a blast. I loved every minute of it. The comraderie of the students and teachers, the professional atmosphere in the archaeology lab--but I especially loved that I got a chance to curate a 1949 field school all by myself. It was heavenly.

In the spring, we went on an overnight field trip to Odette, an archaeological site on Neah Bay. To get there we had to drive for several hours, park our van, and hike 4 hours out to the site, which was right on the water. We were all warned to bring plenty of water, since there was nothing at our campsite by sand, mud, and trees. If we wanted something, we had to hike it in.

I had prepared for the trip carefully. As a mother of 4, I was used to making sure that I had everything I could possible need. Change of clothing, check. Snacks, check. A gallon of water, check. Tent, check. Sleeping bag, check.

I was ready.

As I was repacking my backpack in preparation to begin the 4 hour hike, one of my classmates, a young man of about 22, voiced concern about the heaviness of my pack. He said that he was used to hiking with a pack, and that he would gladly lighten my load.

Right on top was my gallon of water. He pointed to the water, and said that he could easily add that to his pack, and he would be glad to transport it for me to the campsite.

I looked at him and noted that he seemed to be an athletic guy, and since he was at least 8 inches taller and 40 pounds heavier, he probably would be better able to handle the weight of the water. Besides, I had a couple of smaller bottles with me for the hike, so I thanked him and handed over the water.

The hike was exhilirating and beautiful. For the sake of convenience, we split up and all went at our own pace. Although I was not even close to the first of the group to make it to the site, I was proud to discover that I was far from the last person. I held my own.

I set up my tent and unpacked my backpack. Noticing that I had drunk all of the water I had carried on the walk, I went in search of the nice young man who had offered to carry my main supply of water.

Imagine my dismay when I found him, and he informed me that he had drunk it all. The entire gallon.

I had no water the rest of the day, no water that night, and no water for the 4 mile hike back to our vans.

A crack reverbrated through my very being as a new crevice formed its way across my faith in humanity, and through my heart.

Which didn't help my thirst one bit.

But who could I blame, but myself. I was old enough to know better.

Labels: history, life, myth or reality, world

It is that time of year again--time for me to get out paper and pencil (or keyboard and computer) so that I can figure out what I really want from the coming year. Yes, you guessed it. It is time to create the handy-dandy list known as the New Year's Resolution.

Now don't get me wrong. This isn't the only time of year I make lists. I am constantly listing out what I want to do during the day, the steps I need to complete a project, groceries that need to be bought. But this time of year I make a special list that in no way compares to all thosee normal, mundane lists. This list is fun, and without pressure.

Because come on guys, we all know the secret of the New Year's Resolution ...that any list made on the last day of the year has magical powers. Since a last-day-of-the-year list comes at an end, instead of a beginning, it can be safely ignored without guilt. It's sole purpose is simply to be written, and then forgotten. And because of this, it is the best list in the world.

So here goes. In 2010 I resolve to:

Clean my house top to bottom at least once a week.
Learn to hate chocolate.
Give up coffee.
Learn to detest potatoes of all sorts, but especially potato chips.
Brush my teeth five times a day, whether they need it or not.
Shave my head.
Have my husband cook dinner every other night.
Have my youngest daughter cook dinner every night my husband is not cooking.
Learn to like horror movies.
Learn to like flying.
Learn to like being cold.
Learn five foreign languages this year.
Go fishing.
Hug the troll under the Fremont Bridge.
Teach the Jupiterians how not to play practical jokes.

There, that should do it. Wish me luck with my resolutions!

-And-

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

P.S. You might notice that I didn't mention whole categories of my life that typically show up on the New Year's Resolution List, like health, or important career goals. I left those out on purpose. They are already on other lists, and I don't want to run the risk of forgetting about them.

Think about it. You might want to do the same.

Labels: frivolity, life, myth or reality, world

I overheard the following conversation in a department store yesterday while doing my Christmas shopping.

Cashier: Oh, you are getting this for your daughter? Is she giving you a hard time yet?
Customer: She was born giving me a hard time. I took her to her first concert this weekend.
Cashier: Really? Who was playing?
Customer: It was Jingle Bell Bash. You know, put on by 106.1.
Cashier (with a sneer): In that case, I wouldn't know. I don't listen to American music.

Can we say "pretentious", boys and girls?

And let me take this opportunity to say
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Labels: life, world

In the news, all I ever seem to hear about is the Swine Flu, otherwise known as the H1N1 virus. It can strike people in unexpected ways, sometimes with deadly results.

The Swine Flu is horrible, and we all need to do everything we can to stop its spread, but it isn't the only flu out there we need to be concerned about. This past week I was bogged down...by the Turtle Flu.

I know it was the Turtle Flu because I had all the classic symptoms. All food resembled worms to me. A pleasant hello from a family member was rewarded by a gruff snap.

But the most telling symptom was my speed. I mmmmooooovvvvveeeeeddddd vvvvveeeerrrrryyyyy ssssslllllooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy. (Yes, it was as irritating for me doing it as it is for you reading it.)

My family caught the brunt of my illness, but even the neighbors, who I didn't even catch sight of all week, suffered. My dog, who percieves her territory as consisting of everything within a 3-mile radius, spent the better part of the week barking at every noise--real and imagined. Instead of calming her like normal and using her barking as a training opportunity, the Turtle Flu dictated my response. I pulled my head deeper into my shell of covers and floated off into a sea of dreams.

Dreams punctuated by irritating, high-pitched, never-ending barks, but dreams nonetheless.

I am getting a bit more energy now, and I look forward to resuming my normal life. Food once again looks like food, I can talk instead of snap, and I am able to move from one side of the room to the other in under 20 minutes.

So as you are protecting yourself from the H1N1 virus, more commonly known as the Swine Flu, don't forget to also protect yourself from its irritating little cousin, the Turtle Flu. No one deserves to have a week of the turtle. No one.

Labels: family, frivolity, life, myth or reality, world

I was told it could happen, but I didn't think it was true.

I was warned about it, but ignored the warning. In my ignorance, I believed it could never happen to me.

Yet it did.

My little baby book, the newborn creation that I began just yesterday, already has a will of its own. A strong one.

It took me two full years to write my last book, mainly because I wrote it in first person, and it was hard! So when I finally finished the last word, I vowed to stick to the much more intuitive third person. I never again wanted to struggle with those strange verb tenses that rear their ugly heads with first person writings.

Yet, as I reread what I wrote yesterday, I noticed that it just didn't flow. Something wasn't right. The voice, well, the voice was missing. Which, I suppose, is okay, since it is just a rough draft. Only...well...why not make even that first rough draft as good as it can be.

Especially since, as I thought about the story I planned, I realized that I didn't need to try to give the story a voice, it already had one. I could hear it loud and clear. It was talking directly to me.

So today I rewrote yesterday's writings--in first person. It slowed me down a bit, and I'll have to scramble a bit more to reach my 50,000 words in one month goal, but it was worth it.

Wish me luck!

Labels: life, myth or reality, world, writing

November is almost here, and so is the National Novel Writing Month. Every year I say I'm going to participate, and every year I don't remember about it until halfway through the month.

But this year is different. This year I'm all signed up and ready to go.

Except...well, I have discovered one problem. I'm a chicken.

Every time I've mentioned to my family that I plan to write 50,000 words in one month, a little voice in the back of my head does one of those evil laughs. You know, something like 'bwa ha ha ha ha'.

It is so distracting. And scary. It is like having Vincent Price living in my head.

I hate to admit that I'm afraid of that little voice in the back of my head. Although I shouldn't be, it is a powerful little voice, and it has had a lot of practice telling me what I cannot do.

I suppose I should be thankful that the voice is now focused on NaNoWriMo--it seems to have forgotten about all the other parts of my life. Yesterday it said, "you'll never be able to write 50,000 words in one month, why even try?" The day before it told me, "anything you write that quickly will only be trash, so give it up now and don't waste your time." Today it is saying, "you'll be sorry if you try it, you'll get all cranky and you'll only write 3,000 words and you'll get sick."

Hmmmm. Now that I think about it, the voice seems to be getting desperate, like it believes it will fail. And if it fails, that means...

50,000 words, here I come!

Labels: events, frivolity, myth or reality, world, writing

Done!

Just half a minute ago, I finished rewriting the last word on the last page of the last chapter. Of the Department of Temporal Adjustment, of course! Possibly to be known as the DTA, possibly by some other title.

I am ecstatic, jubilant, and so, so happy.

The sun is shining brightly--at least in my head. As I look out the window all I can see are clouds.

Go away, naughty clouds, I don't want you around today. I am too happy to put up with your depressing grayness.

Let that glorious sun shine through.

I don't need it personally, I have loads of internal sunshine.

I would just like to share this feeling with the rest of the world.

Labels: DTA, life, world, writing

Tuesday, October 6th 2009, I learned something wonderful. I learned that my husband truly believes in me.

He's always been supportive, but being supportive isn't the same as truly believing. Especially since he has known me for more than 25 years, and he is well aware of each and every flaw I possess.

When I began to write, my husband supported me in my 'little hobby'. He helped me carve a little time out of the week, bought me a computer, and listened as I talked of plots, characters, and sentence structure.

After I completed the first book writing was no longer a hobby to me, but a passion. To my husband, it stayed my 'little hobby'.

But yesterday he said four wonderful words that let me know he has had a change of heart.

He was telling me about his class. At the start of the year he had written a letter of welcome to all his students, and on Tuesday he decided to check to see how carefully they had read it.

After asking various questions and receiving the appropriate answers, he asked his class, "What does my wife do?"

One bright student answered, "She's a writer!"

My husband paused in his story to tell me that he told the student that the answer was correct. Then he went on to say, "I never even told them you are also a librarian, you've made the transition."

Have you ever heard four more beautiful words? You've made the transition! My wonderful, smart, not-easily-impressed husband now thinks of me as a writer.

I am happy. He believes in me.

Labels: family, life, world, writing

I've been vlapped! No once, but twice.

It happened this weekend. We had a family birthday party, and one of the guests, a 3 month old baby, was giving his parents a hard time. I could tell the parents were upset and tense (they are new parents and haven't had him out after his bedtime before), so I offered to walk him a bit to calm him. I wanted to give the new parents an opportunity to enjoy the party and regain their cool.

I knew I could help, since I'd had plenty of practice with my own 4 children, nieces, nephews, neighbors, etc. I'm a pro at keeping the tension out of my body, which is key for calming irrate babies. A baby always knows if the person holding him is stressed.

Vlap! The father of the child told me that I would not be capable of helping. (Even though I've successfully managed to soothe multiple babies, multiple times.)

Okay, I thought. I'll just back off. I'm sure this man who has been a father for all of three months knows loads more than I do about handling babies. I only have a mere 23 + years of experience.

The party continued, and the parents were unable to participate. After about an hour the baby was calm, but not asleep. I asked the mother if she wanted me to hold the little tike so she could socialize for a bit.

Vlap! The mother of the child told me I would not be capable of helping.

So there you have it, two vlaps in one party.

What? You have never heard the term 'vlap' before? It is a term I picked up from the Jupitarians--it means virtual slap. It is used all the time on Jupiter.

I like the term.

And in case you are wondering, a vlap hurts like the dickens--just like a slap.

Ouch!

Labels: family, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality, world

Don't tell Pepper, but I managed to get a picture of her. She is so camera shy. You would think I was a member of the paparazzi, and she was an over-worked movie star.

But before I show her new do, let me remind you of her old one. Note the dry grass. With her old fur cut, Pepper and dry grass were like the two connecting pieces of velcro. And just as hard to separate!

Since Pepper's visit to the salon I haven't had to de-velcro her a single time.

Here is what she looks like now (otherwise known as AFTER):





Much better, don't you think!

Labels: family, frivolity, life, world

Today is my first day unemployed.

I once wrote a short story with the moral "be careful what you ask for because you might get it." Maybe, just maybe, I should have listened to my own advice.

I've felt for a while that it was time for a change, but I was afraid. I didn't know what kind of change I needed, what I should do to improve things. So I prayed for guidance, for a clear message that would let me know what my next step in life should be.

The next thing I knew, I was told that my position as Head Librarian in the school was being cut, and I was out of a job.

Gulp!

Message heard loud and clear: I had outlived my time at the BC school.

But what next? What kind of job should I look for? Where was I best suited.

Gulp again! I've applied for over 50 jobs this summer, with nary a bite. Another message heard loud and clear. I need to start my own business.

The time has come to stand on my own two feet. To be my own boss. To join the world of business owners.

Time for the next adventure.

Labels: family, librarian, life, world

I'm confused.
I'm flabbergasted.
I'm, well...I'm puzzled, perplexed, mystified, befuddled, bewildered, and baffled.

I just don't understand what is happening on the air waves today (or now that so much is digital, I probably should say cable waves). First there was the normalizing of language that makes me blush. This language has never found a place in my mouth, yet I cannot stop it from bombarding my ears. And now...

Last night I heard the following sentence: "I need to make sure the bookcases are functionalability." 'Functionalability'? Why the 'ability'? Why not good old 'functional'?

I had heard this same man use 'functionalability' several times before, but each time I assumed I had heard wrong. Unfortunately, I had not.

What is happening? Is it bad education, bad memory, or, or, or...

Eeeeeek!
We're being attacked, I just know it! What better way to weaken a country than to break down communication. And what better way to break down communication than to create multiple subgroups with totally different vocabularies.

I can see it now. Within a few years, popular music afficionados will hold long conversations with each other that sound a little like: "Have you seen bleep bleep bleep bleep? Bleep ate all the Cheerios bleep bleep bleep. I need to go to the bleep store and bleep bleep bleep buy groceries." (excuse the bleeps, I don't say those kinds of words)

While those who take a more homey approach will say to each other: "I flipped it with functionalability and styleousness, so my houseability reached mountaineous proportions. I think it's because of the vertacalability of my clothes."

I cringe at the next step taken by the perpetrators of this dastardly deed. What will they do? What is in store for our national vocabulary, which is being disintegrated one misused word at a time.

We must save ourselves! Rise up citizens, protect your mouths and your minds!
Read a dictionary!

Labels: blogging, frivolity, life, myth or reality, world

Reality TV is great, isn't it.

It is especially great for enriching our vocabularies. Since I've begun to watch HGTV, TLC, BRAVO, and the Food Network, I've heard words the likes of which I never knew existed. Words that are so new the dictionaries don't even recognize them as words yet.

Take for example one of my favorites verticalability - which seems to apply to fabric that creates a long, lean look by making the eye move up and down rather than side to side.

So I'll keep watching the shows, and I'll keep adding to my list of new words, because hey, I want to have the best vocabulability I can possibly have!

Labels: blogging, life, myth or reality, world

It's 102 degrees outside. It's a heat wave! Love it!

Inside my house is pleasant, but I must admit that outside is rather hot. So hot that my usually outdoorsy dog, Pepper, won't set a foot outside unless it is absolutely necessary.

If anyone is brave enough to open the front door Pepper's natural curiosity makes her get up to investigate. But she doesn't get any further than sticking her nose out of the door. I guess her curiosity is like coconut butter--it just melts away in the heat.

She is spending her day moving from cool spot of floor to cool spot of floor. I can't say I blame her. She is, after all, covered from head to foot with thick black fur.

My husband, on the other hand, I don't understand. He began to complain of the heat early in the day, while I still felt a tad chilled. What will he do if he needs to go outside for some reason?

Anyway, it is nice to not be cold for a change. I think I'll enjoy the heat wave while I can. From inside the house, of course. Where it is bearable!

Labels: family, life, myth or reality, world

You hear about it in the news every day. This company is cutting positions, that person is getting laid off, the person over there cannot find a job.

I guess now I am joining the crowd of unemployed, laid-off, job seekers.

I had a meeting with my boss today, and he told me that due to decreased enrollment at the school where I work, there will not be a position for me next year. So there will be no Middle School / Upper School Librarian.

I know I have a biased viewpoint, but personally I think someone is being short-sighted. Today's librarians don't spend all their time reading, shelving, and chatting on the phone. As a matter of fact, if I listed everything I did in a day this blog entry would become horribly long. So I won't.

But I am amazed at how often people don't really know what a librarian does. How much value we add. The place we hold in our modern information overloaded society.

Hmmmm. It was a lot of hard work, so maybe I shouldn't gripe about being forced to move on. I'll just let them continue to think that all I did all day was sit around and twiddle my thumbs.

Labels: family, librarian, life, world

Some days, I walk around and look at the pain and suffering on people's faces and I feel sorrow.

Not sorrow that the people are feeling the pain, everyone is subjected to suffering at some point in their lives. It is sorrow that 90% of the time it is self-inflicted. There is no reason to suffer.

The problem, of course, is that many, many, many people take themselves entirely too seriously. They stress about the little things, agonize over trivialities, focus on the tiniest flaws in their lives.

They spend so much energy and focus on miniscule mistakes that they miss all the good stuff. They have no room left in their lives for the things that really count, like butterflies, sunshine, puppies, and the laughter of children.

Lighten up people. Step back from your problems and take in a broader picture. You'll find that there is a whole world out there waiting for you to enjoy.

And yes, I too am sometimes guilty of taking myself too seriously. I have to remind myself to lighten up.

I have to laugh at myself. Or you.

Labels: life, world

Do you want to know my favorite compliment I have ever received?

It was when I was 17 years old, and it was given to me by a 17 year old boy who was madly in love with my best friend.

One day we were talking about the wonderfulness of my best friend and determining strategies he could use to get my friend to notice him. For a reason I couldn't understand, since there wasn't a natural break in the conversation, the boy became suddenly quiet. After silently looking at me for a several minutes he said, "You know, you are no raving beauty, but you are kind of pretty."

As a 17 year old girl I was devastated. I desperately wanted to be a raving beauty, and I was insulted and hurt that I had to settle for being "kind of pretty".

It was only years later that I realized the true intent of the compliment. He was not really commenting on my physical self, he just didn't know how to express what he meant.

By saying I was "kind of pretty" he was trying to tell me he valued my friendship. He appreciated the hours I had spent listening to him blather on about the glories of my best friend.

After all, it isn't every teenage girl who has the patience to listen to a litany of another girl's wonderful attributes. Again and again and again.

It isn't exactly a self-esteem builder.

So, after years of being bothered by the compliment, I'm happy to be able to say that I have figured it out. He was complimenting my good nature.

At least, that is what I've decided he meant. And I'm sticking to it.

Labels: history, life, myth or reality, world

Sometimes, it is very difficult to separate fact from fiction.

There is a part in my new book where the main character gets trapped in a room. No matter how hard she tries, she just cannot open the door to leave the room.

I was writing that segment the week before last. I finished, put away my stuff, and went to the door to open it.

It was thoroughly stuck. The knob would not turn. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get the door to open.

Lucky for me my husband heard my calls and succeeded in releasing me from my prison. Good thing too, since I'm a tad claustrophobic, and the only other way out of the room is through the window, the room is on the second floor, and I also have a fear of heights.

This week as I wrote, my character was again dealing with doors, and was very pleased that she was able to go through doors that were partially open. So she was careful to not fully close the door of whatever room she was in.

I looked over at the door of the room where I do my writing, and had to chuckle. I had not closed the door all the way, fearing that it would become stuck again.

So which way is it...is fiction grounded in fact, or do our real lives somehow mirror fiction?

It makes you think, doesn't it?

Labels: life, myth or reality, world, writing

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. I had spent most of the day preparing for my talk at the Olympia Timberland Library, stressed about those 10 tiny minutes as if they were 10 long hours.

After several hours work I was pretty proud of myself. I had finally come up with what I wanted to say, and I had almost nailed down how I wanted to say it. And how long was this wonderful speech? All of 7 minutes.

Can you tell I don't like to speak in front of strangers?

So anyway, I was still short 3 minutes. But what is 3 minutes! It had only taken me several hours to come up with those precious 7 minutes. No problem, right?

My husband, who is going to Olympia with me, wanted more information about exactly what was going to happen while we were there. So I immediately went to the library website to see what they had published.

I was a little surprised, but not concerned, to see a blurb stating that some of the authors were giving 20 minute talks. They must be the authors who enjoy public speaking. I was satisfied sticking to my 10 minutes, it was probably all I could handle.

But my husband wanted even more information. With a sigh, I dug out the email I had received so that he could read for himself the schedule for the day.

I almost fainted.

I am slated to give a 20 minute talk.

Maybe I can talk really, really slow.

Labels: Behold the Eye, Braumaru, Cerulea, family, life, Viridia, world, writing

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the air has that lovely crisp clean feeling that makes me feel not only alive, but wonderful. I look around me at all the beauty that surrounds me even here in the city, and I can't help but wonder how anyone could deny the existence of God.

I know people who vehemently don't believe in God. They claim that they are scientific people--beings who need proof of anything before they can have believe in it. Scientific proof. And since no one has ever successfully proven the existence of God, they will not give credence to the existence of a higher being.

They, of course, turn a blind eye to the fact that no one has been able to successfully disprove the existence of God.

I've thought about their view of the world, and it saddens me that they are denying themselves so much joy, so much hope, and so much stability. And all because they feel they are too educated to believe in what they call superstition, when in reality, they are too uneducated to really understand the scientific process. Because science is about questions, not really about answers. If we knew all about how our world works, if there were no questions left to answer, science would not exist. It would be dead.

It is true that science cannot prove the existence of God. But that is because science can only hope to find answers to questions that are quantifiable. Science works best if there is something that can be measured, changed, remeasured, changed again. If the scientist cannot manipulate it, then no experiments can be created and the whole thing is merely a theory. And theories are by nature only proven until someone else comes along and disproves it.

Of course, that means that since God cannot be disproven, God is a viable theory.

The funny thing about these self proclaimed "scientific nonbelievers" is that they'll eat up even the most hair-brained theories put out there by a scientist even if no proof is has ever truly been found. If they want to believe that this, that, or the other is true, they require amazing little hard proof.

Except when it comes to God. For them, God is the one theory they cannot accept.

Go figure!

Labels: family, life, myth or reality, world

I'm not afraid of failure, and why should I be?

Every failure, every mistake, every struggle makes me a stronger person, or at least they can if I take the time to pay attention to the lessons they can teach me.

I remember when I was a gymnast and I practiced for hours and hours every day. Almost never was I able to accomplish a new move perfectly the first time. It took try after try, flop after flop, until I would get the move down right. But even though throughout those many tries I would make so many mistakes that there was no way I could consciously keep track, I didn't mind. I knew that my mind and my body were both learning from the mistakes, and that it was only a matter of time before everything would come together and the move would be perfected.

The same holds true in all other aspects of my life. When I have somethng new to accomplish I rarely hesitate out of fear. I don't agonize over mistakes, since I know all I need to do is pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again. I will succeed, if I only keep trying long enough.

Which is why I say failure is my friend. As long as I continue to have periodic failures, I can continue to grow, to learn, and to succeed.

**Okay, this is really funny. I've already tried to publish this post 9 times unsuccessfully. If you see this, you'll know that I kept on trying, and succeeded the 10th time.

***Actually, it was more like the 20th, but who's counting!

Labels: life, myth or reality, world

I unsubscribed from 65 sites today. Later I checked my email, and I had 25 new ones!

BLAH!

Good thing I didn't say it was okay to give out my information!

Labels: librarian, life, myth or reality, world

As a librarian who teaches what to do and what not to do on the Internet, I often have the following conversation with my class:

Me: So you should never do that.
Class: Have you ever done it?
Me: No, I haven't.
Class: Then how do you really know you shouldn't do it?

Yes, I know I can give them very good arguments explaining how you can be sure that something is bad without trying it. For example, I know it would be very bad to be hit by a car, and it is not necessary for me to walk out onto a busy street to be sure.

Still, whenever I can safely give something a try, I do. I've edited Wikipedia articles, blogged, built websites, etc. But even for the sake of the students I refuse to forward forwarded emails, click on possibly bogus links, break copyright laws, plagairize, hack into someone else's account, or give out my passwords to anyone.

But I thought, I really thought, that signing up to do online surveys would be a harmless experiment.

Wow, was I wrong! Within an hour, my email inbox was innundated with junk mail, and not only from the survey group. I got email from:
• other survey groups, just in case the first company didn't give me enough surveys to satisfy my opinion-giving craving
• grant sites that promised money for free I could use for anything I wanted
• online colleges telling me I can get a better job if I just got a higher degree
• work from home sites in case I didn't want to leave my home to work
• coffee companies that wanted to jump start my day, whether I left my home or not
• insurance companies who wanted to assure me that if something happened to me they could make sure my family had all the money they needed
• debt relief sites that wanted to rescue me from all those nasty credit cards
• personal products like shoes, makeup, wrinkle-relief creams
• various things that make me blush, so I choose not to write about


Talk about an efficient group. They must have a very good system set up, to be able to share my personal email with such a diverse group so quickly. They have the skill of networking down pat.

I'll be cleaning this mess up for a while. But at least now I can truthfully say that I have first-hand experience that tells me it is unwise to give out my email to any site that I'm not 100% sure about.

And that you should not believe them when they say they won't share your information with anyone.

Labels: blogging, life, myth or reality, world

1. Buy the books for yourself (apparent, I know, but sometimes it really doesn't hurt to state the obvious. You would not believe the number of people who have asked me for a free copies of the Behold the Eye trilogy, even though I have to pay for the books just like everyone else)

2. Buy the books to give as gifts.

3. If you have ever purchased anything on Amazon.com, you can write a review. So go ahead--write one! (You could start with Braumaru) You don't have to use your real name, the author does not need to know that you are the reviewer. (I wouldn't, I promise!) The more reviews posted, the more popular the books seem, the more popular the books become! (People love to read what is popular, no one wants to feel left out of the know)

4. Make a list on Amazon.com that includes the books, and include other already popular books of a similar nature. You know the old saying, birds of a feather flock together!

5. Talk about the books to friends,acquaintances, and random people you meet on the street. (you might get the right person interested, and suddenly, the books are to be made into a movie. I can see it now, everyone will be talking about my trilogy. The bright lights of Hollywood, the...oh, sorry, I got a little carried away)

6. Teachers often read novels to their class. If the books are appropriate for school, like my Behold the Eye trilogy (5th grade and up), ask a teacher if he/she would read it to his/her class. Or, be still my heart, use it as a classroom novel!

7. Request the books at your library. Most public libraries welcome purchase suggestons, there is usually even a form online. (You do all have library cards, don't you?)

8. Ask bookstores if they carry the author...they probably don't now, but you never know, they might start.

9. If you come across a site that allows comments about books, don't be shy! Use every opportunity to get the word out about the books. There are a lot of people out there who would probably love the books (i.e. Behold the Eye trilogy) if they only knew about them. Spread the word! Spread the word! (You might even post a link to the author's site, which will also help.)

10. Books like the Behold the Eye trilogy are not backed by a big New York publishing budget. As a matter of fact, the small publisher who published the trilogy has an exceeding slim budget, one of those typically called shoestring. Since I want the books to do well, I have to do the marketing work myself. Alas I, like everyone else in the world who works fulltime and has a family, am very busy. So any and all support counts for a lot. If you want to help my books, it would be a very friendly gesture if you just let people know about them. Maybe we can find out if word-of-mouth advertising really works! (I struggled to come up with a really good metaphor about how knowledge of the trilogy could spread, but I somehow kept mixing growing flowers with exploding stars. It didn't work, so I'll just spare everyone and leave it out.)

Labels: Behold the Eye, blogging, Braumaru, Cerulea, family, librarian, life, publishing, Viridia, world, writing

I love the way students are curious about details of a teacher's life. And, given half an opportunity, how they will try to dig out a few extra details.

As I was teaching a class this week, the subject of a person's age came up.

One student piped up, "Mrs. Tabares, are you 26 years old?"

"No," I responded, "that would be pretty much impossible, since I have a 23 year old daughter!"

"Oh, you have a 23 year old daughter," chimed in another student, "are you 50?"

"No, I'm not 50."

"You're 27!"

"No you're 35."

"I think you're 65."

"Are you 43?"

Immediately, the entire class erupted into a multitude of guesses--a wide range of guesses.

Only a few took the time to add in order to make an appropriate guess. Just like I could not be 26 and have a 23 year old daughter, I was not likely to be 27 or 35 either.

I told the class I was somewhere in between their guesses, and that we had to get back on subject.

But in a way, their inability to guess my age was very appropriate to the subject of study, which was the difficulty of figuring out if a person really was the age they stated on the Web. I was trying to teach the students that the Internet was a foggy place, where it is very hard to see the true identity of a person. People with ill intent often give false information about themselves to gain trust.

I have no ill intent, and I in no way am trying to change my identity. Which is a good thing, since these students are as yet unable to decipher truths about a person standing right in front of them!

Labels: life, myth or reality, world

No worries.

No, no, no, I'm not being insensitive or uncaring! This is all planned.

You are shocked I would be a part of this dastardly deed? What are you...oh...I understand now. You are confused about the fireworks. Maybe I should explain a little.

The Space Needle is not under attack. Every year, when a new year begins, people want to make a lot of noise and celebrate the new beginning. Kind of have the old year go out and the new year come in with a bang. To to this we....

No! We do not "sacrifice a building to the great one". You've got it all wrong, we are not blowing up the Space Needle, we're just making noise!

Well, I guess we just want to make a big show, you know, just because we can.

What? No! I do not want you to help out with the fireworks! That would be scary. I think the people in charge are doing a bang up job by themselves.

Yes, I know that you could easily bring down the building, but that's not the point. We want the building to remain unharmed, all the buildings.

Yes, I know you think we are missing out in the fun. But trust me, it is better that you let us celebrate our own way, even if you don't understand. We Earthlings are rather odd that way.

Well, why don't you just yell "Happy New Year"!

And a Happy New Year to you.

Labels: frivolity, Jupiterians, myth or reality, world

There are still a few days to go, but outside it looks like the perfect Christmas card.

Looking out my window I can see about 8 inches of snow piled up on our fence. It is still early morning, so there is very little contrast between the white of the snow and the pale gray of the sky. But still, it is beautiful.

What is it about snow? It can turn the ugliest landscape into a thing of beauty. Even town dumps are transformed. Gone are the dirty piles of trash and discarded couches, they are magically replaced by pristine white mountains, seemingly untouched by mankind.

I guess every so often, God wants to remind us that there is a ton of beauty in the world. We only have to look at things the right way.

So we are given the gift of snow. It is cold, wet, potentially dangerous, but painfully beautiful.

Thank you God.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Labels: family, frivolity, myth or reality, world

I was so happy yesterday! I ran a report to see which books have been checked out most in the last 30 days in my library, and was totally shocked to see Behold the Eye: Braumaru listed as #1! I ran another report, but this time for most checked out in 1 year. Braumaru was #4. Not bad for a book that has only been published about 8 months!

Then I got home, and waiting for me was a rejection letter from a contest I had entered Braumaru. Not only had I not won, but the reviewer thought that the book was too complicated for kids in Middle School, so they would become frustrated and not finish it.

Listen, I know that not everyone who reads my books are going to like them. This is a fact. I can live with it. I expect it.

But I would much prefer for the reviewer to state that s/he did not like my book rather than say that the middle school/young adult crowd are not smart enough to understand my books. That they would not be able to follow the storyline.

It makes me wonder if the reviewer actually reads fiction written for this age group. Does s/he not understand that books that have been dumbed down are quite often mundane and boring? Is it possible that s/he is not aware that the young mind is perfectly capable of handling and detangling complicated plots? Could it be that s/he does not know that a book that challenges while it entertains is a powerful encouragement to continued reading? Books need to be fun!

I am a mother, a librarian, and a writer.

As a mother, I've watched the reaction my children have had to various stimuli. And after watching, I made a conscious decision to be involved in what they were exposed to. Yes, I will admit it. I made careful selections (aka censoring) of my children's computer use, television viewing, and book choices. But my choices were never to dumb things down, only to keep out the inappropriate.

As a librarian, my job is to choose reading material that will encourage the love of reading and learning. I spend hours every day evaluating books to that end. What age group do I evaluate for you ask? Kindergarten through 12th grade. And to do this I ask a lot of questions of the kids, about what they like in a book, what keeps their interest, what makes them think!

As the writer of the Behold the Eye trilogy my goal was to write a story that I, as an adult, would enjoy reading, and that I could read aloud to my child.

Which is why I know some people will not like my books. The Behold the Eye trilogy has no vulgarity, no vampires, and no scenes that would make a person blush.

They are complex, interesting, and fun!

Labels: Behold the Eye, Braumaru, Cerulea, family, history, librarian, life, publishing, Viridia, world, writing

I am thankful for the many blessings I enjoy, and the most important blessing to me is my family.

Therefore, I am thankful for that first awkward, but strangely magical, blind date with my husband almost 25 years ago. Everything that could have gone wrong did. Which makes it important to remember that an uneventful date is a forgetable date.

Aren't I lucky that that first date was very like our marriage has been? Unforgetable, eventful, and full of surprises...surprises that my husband and I have learned we can always handle, as long as we handle them together.

I am thankful for my four wonderful daughters, who have all grown into beautiful, witty, intelligent, strong young women. I radiated pride yesterday at the family dinner when aunts, uncles, a grandmother, and cousins were able to partake of the numerous dishes my children had cooked, packed up, and transported to the get-together. To know that my children have grown to be so giving, so hard-working...it does make a mother's heart glow with joy.

I am also thankful for...what? You want me to let everyone know what you are thankful for? Why certainly, I'll read your prepared speech for you, though I am a little surprised. I didn't know Jupiterians celebrated Thanksgiving Day.

Let's see...it says, "We like to thank our fellow Jupiterians who have always given us support. We would like to show our gratitude to the Foundation, without whom we would not be here today. We would also like to thank the Saturnians for clearing a path through their moons so that we could make the great strides we have in space exploration. Without their help, it may have taken an extra millenium..."

Wait a minute, this speech isn't about Thanksgiving!

Yes, I know you are giving thanks, but it is not the same. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for blessings, not giving thanks to people. Okay, okay, so officially they aren't "people". Still, I don't think you get it!

What? You are positive you know all about it because you watched it on TV? You saw a show about Thanksgiving on TV?

Oh, I see. You saw the Academy Awards.

I think I'll just let it go. Some things are just too hard to explain!

Maybe I should find a way to limit their TV time!

Labels: family, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality, world

Jupiterians,

Word has been sent from your homeland that you are desperately needed there. You must drop any and all projects you have here, and zip back to your planet before it is too late. Quickly. Right away.

What is that? You think your project to slow down Viridia is too important for you to put aside?

But you must obey the call of your fellow Jupiterians. You cannot let them handle this crisis alone. They need your help. Now. Right now. This minute.

What is the crisis? Well...I think is is best that you get the details directly from those that are living the tragedy in your homeland. So you must hurry back.

Why did I get the message instead of you? Ummmm...well...there is a very good reason they sent the messge to me instead of you. They...they...they tried you reach you, but you didn't answer. They couldn't wait so they gave me the message to pass along to you.

The message? You must return at once before all the trees on your planet are destroyed. Your help is immediately and urgently needed.

Why are you looking at each other like that? This is serious! All the trees on your planet have developed a rare and deadly form of the Dutch Elm disease, and you must take a few of our trees back immediately so that you can start to replenish your forests right away.

Why are you laughing so hard?

Your planet doesn't have trees? It is made of gas?

I knew I should have paid closer attention in Astronomy!

Labels: Behold the Eye, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality, Viridia, world

I will be so glad when Tuesday is done and gone. It's impossible to get away from all the political ads, and my mind needs a break from all the nastiness and confusion.

But I have a secret. It's not a big, humongous secret. It is a little, annoying secret, one that I've already shared with my family and close friends.

You see, there is a candidate for Congress that I know one tiny little thing about. A tiny thing that shows what her character is made of, and that she doesn't know the meaning of ethics.

You see, several years ago I was laid off from my job, and my family was struggling to make ends meet. Times were tough, and I was frantically trying to get myself re-employed so that my family's financial stability could be restored.

I was estatic to have the opportunity to interview at Microsoft, and I was fully confident that I was a good fit for the job.

I met with the hiring manager, and the interview began. She seemed to be a nice woman, she described to me exactly what the job entailed, and I explained how I could accomplish each task, and how I could add value.

She explained that in order for her to make a decision, she needed to know my working methods and ability. Therefore, she wanted me to tell her my ideas about how she could restructure her site to make the information flow more easily.

After I had completed the task, she suddenly jumped up and said she had to go check on something.

About 5-10 minutes later, a young woman came into the office, and said she had been sent to escort me out of the building. I asked if it would be possible to thank the hiring manager for her time, and the young woman said that the manager was unavailable. She said I shouldn't worry about the abrupt departure, that the manager was "just like that."

A couple weeks later I was chatting with a friend of mine about her job search, and was surprised to discover that we had both interviewed for the same position at Microsoft. (It was easy to remember the name of this hiring manager, because really, how many women at Microsoft have the first name Darcy?)

My friend had left her interview with the task of creating a mock-up of a redesign of the site, to make it more esthetically pleasing. She had done the requested work.

A month later, both of us consoled with each other that neither of us had heard back from the hiring manager, which must mean neither of us were going to get the job.

Out of curiosity, we visited the site I had been asked to restructure, and my friend to redesign.

Shock! Total shock! There, replacing the old site, was a combination of our work. She had interviewed each of us, requested work from us, and combined our work without any recompense, without a "thank you", and even without a polite "sorry, but you are not hired."

And this woman is running for Congress? She claims to be ethical, looking out for the interest for others?

Hardly!

Labels: blogging, family, history, life, world

I remember...

Being awakened in the early hours of the morning by my husband. My 15 year old daughter had woken him up because of what she had heard on the radio.

I remember...

Looking at television, horrified that a pilot had made such a terrible mistake and crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings. My heart ached as I thought of the families of the unfortunate who were either in the plane or in the section of the building that had been hit.

I remember...

Watching the second plane crash into the World Trade Center. My first thought was that the whole scene was surreal. It had to be some kind of publicity stunt for a new movie. One plane hitting was a trajedy, two was impossible.

I remember...

The sudden realization that this was no accident, this was no stunt, this was real, and this was an attack. Innocent people going about their daily lives had been attacked and killed. In America.

I remember...

The feeling of fear. Would more attacks follow? How would I be able to keep my family safe? How could life continue?

I remember...

Hearing of the attack on the Pentagon, and of a plane going down in a field. I'll never forget the look on my husband's face as we talked about what might come, especially after the plot against our country was discovered and then publicized. Suddenly the world had became a much more dangerous place.

I remember...

Realizing that this was not a series of events that would mark a single day, this was a series of events that would change every day. It was a lonely time. It was a stressful time. It was a time I never want to relive. Many things happened then, and in the days that followed, that I would rather forget.

But I'll remember...

That I am fortunate. I can empathize with the families of those who died on September 11th, but I cannot truly feel their pain. My loved ones were safe on that eventful.

And I pledge to remember...

That it was not buildings that were attacked, it was my country. And though it took a little longer than I would have liked, America took action. I'll continue to be proud of my country. And I'll continue to be in awe of the selflessness of people like my husband and other members of the military who regularly sacrifice to protect my country.

I sincerely hope Americans always remember what it really means to the an American.

Labels: family, history, life, world

Plastic. Everywhere I look there is plastic. Plastic bottles, plastic table cloths, plastic plates, plastic chairs, plastic spoons, plastic forks, plastic tables, plastic shoes, and on and on and on.

I wonder if the inventor of plastic ever imagined what a monster he/she was creating.

Plastic seems harmless enough. It's easy to clean, resists breaking, is light-weight, and can be make into any shape desired. And oh, it can last virtually forever.

Which is the biggest problem of plastic. It seems that creating things out of material that lasts forever may not be such a good idea after all.

But when it comes to environmental lore, how do we separate fact from fiction? Which stories are true, and which have been constructed to push an agenda forward.

Take for example the following story about the world's dependence on plastic:

Somewhere out there, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, there is a place where the water swirling clockwise meets water swirling counterclockwise, and a vortex is formed. This vortex has acted as a natural vacuum cleaner for the ocean, pulling in bits and pieces of plastic to this one location. The accumulation is said to cover an area the size of Texas.

My first thought is:

Texas! Couldn't it at least be a smaller state, like Rhode Island, or maybe Connecticut? And who, pray tell, is going to take on the gargantuan task of emptying the trash out of the vacuum? I can just hear the echoes across the world of "It's not my mess".

But then I begin to analyze. Who says this plastic Texas exists? Do they have an agenda they are trying to push? Has any reasonably unbiased group studied this?

So now I am reserving judgement. The report comes from a group that is not known for being unbiased.

This doesn't necessarily mean that the story is untrue, it just means that I cannot yet accept it as fact.

Labels: life, myth or reality, world