Perceptions and Illusions

Eeeeek! I have an emergency. A book emergency.

It is Viridia. I checked on the little fella today, and was shocked to find that it had gone into a deep decline. I had no clue it was feeling so depressed.

Well, to be honest, I didn't even know that books could get depressed. I thought they just sat happily on shelves waiting to be read.

But look for yourself. Viridia is in such a bad shape that I could barely recognize it.

I feel so guilty. It is all my fault. I asked loads of people to review Braumaru and Cerulea, but Viridia got left out, neglected, and pushed aside.

There is only one thing to do, one way to bring Viridia back from the brink. But I cannot do it myself. I need your help.

It is a dangerous mission, but if you have courage I know you will succeed.
Viridia can be saved.

All you need to do is write a review on Amazon. Show Viridia that you care.

And since Viridia is a green book, you will be helping our planet be a little greener, so we all win!

Labels: Behold the Eye, family, frivolity, life, myth or reality, Viridia

It is that time of year again--time for me to get out paper and pencil (or keyboard and computer) so that I can figure out what I really want from the coming year. Yes, you guessed it. It is time to create the handy-dandy list known as the New Year's Resolution.

Now don't get me wrong. This isn't the only time of year I make lists. I am constantly listing out what I want to do during the day, the steps I need to complete a project, groceries that need to be bought. But this time of year I make a special list that in no way compares to all thosee normal, mundane lists. This list is fun, and without pressure.

Because come on guys, we all know the secret of the New Year's Resolution ...that any list made on the last day of the year has magical powers. Since a last-day-of-the-year list comes at an end, instead of a beginning, it can be safely ignored without guilt. It's sole purpose is simply to be written, and then forgotten. And because of this, it is the best list in the world.

So here goes. In 2010 I resolve to:

Clean my house top to bottom at least once a week.
Learn to hate chocolate.
Give up coffee.
Learn to detest potatoes of all sorts, but especially potato chips.
Brush my teeth five times a day, whether they need it or not.
Shave my head.
Have my husband cook dinner every other night.
Have my youngest daughter cook dinner every night my husband is not cooking.
Learn to like horror movies.
Learn to like flying.
Learn to like being cold.
Learn five foreign languages this year.
Go fishing.
Hug the troll under the Fremont Bridge.
Teach the Jupiterians how not to play practical jokes.

There, that should do it. Wish me luck with my resolutions!

-And-

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

P.S. You might notice that I didn't mention whole categories of my life that typically show up on the New Year's Resolution List, like health, or important career goals. I left those out on purpose. They are already on other lists, and I don't want to run the risk of forgetting about them.

Think about it. You might want to do the same.

Labels: frivolity, life, myth or reality, world

Those jokey Jupiterians are hard at work again, unfortunately.

There is some kind of proportion formula working between me and the Jupiterians. The more important a project is to me, the more likely the Jupiterians will exert themselves to play practical jokes. And right now my project is right up there with...with...well, it is so important I don't know what to compare it to.

I am working on the cover for the Department of Temporal Adjustment, and I am well aware that people do judge books by their covers. So I have to get it right. The cover must be superb and perfect. It must exude humor and excitement, without being funny or amateurish.

And while I am working hard to create the perfect book cover for the DTA--and it must be perfect since its job is to entice readers to first pick up and then read the book--the Jupiterians are throwing every possible distraction at me imaginable. Packages, all of a sudden, require signatures. The dog barks, and when I look, no one is around. My computer dies suddenly due to lack of power, even though I had plugged it in a few minutes previously.

But Jupiterians, I will prevail. Give me your worst.

Or, on second thought, you don't really have to. You've distracted me quite enough. I get the point, you are funny, funny, little Jupiterians.

What's that you say? You want me to put one of you, a Jupiterian, on the front cover? But the book is not about...

Oh, I see. You would be satisfied with life size image, one no humans would even notice.

I'll tell you what, Jupiterians. You leave me alone long enough to get this cover done, and I will seriously think about it.

Great! It's a deal!

They sound so cute when they giggle like that--at least they do as long as they aren't giggling because of some joke they played on me.

I wonder if they realize they are invisible to humans?

Labels: book cover, DTA, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality, publishing

In the news, all I ever seem to hear about is the Swine Flu, otherwise known as the H1N1 virus. It can strike people in unexpected ways, sometimes with deadly results.

The Swine Flu is horrible, and we all need to do everything we can to stop its spread, but it isn't the only flu out there we need to be concerned about. This past week I was bogged down...by the Turtle Flu.

I know it was the Turtle Flu because I had all the classic symptoms. All food resembled worms to me. A pleasant hello from a family member was rewarded by a gruff snap.

But the most telling symptom was my speed. I mmmmooooovvvvveeeeeddddd vvvvveeeerrrrryyyyy ssssslllllooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy. (Yes, it was as irritating for me doing it as it is for you reading it.)

My family caught the brunt of my illness, but even the neighbors, who I didn't even catch sight of all week, suffered. My dog, who percieves her territory as consisting of everything within a 3-mile radius, spent the better part of the week barking at every noise--real and imagined. Instead of calming her like normal and using her barking as a training opportunity, the Turtle Flu dictated my response. I pulled my head deeper into my shell of covers and floated off into a sea of dreams.

Dreams punctuated by irritating, high-pitched, never-ending barks, but dreams nonetheless.

I am getting a bit more energy now, and I look forward to resuming my normal life. Food once again looks like food, I can talk instead of snap, and I am able to move from one side of the room to the other in under 20 minutes.

So as you are protecting yourself from the H1N1 virus, more commonly known as the Swine Flu, don't forget to also protect yourself from its irritating little cousin, the Turtle Flu. No one deserves to have a week of the turtle. No one.

Labels: family, frivolity, life, myth or reality, world

I know November is not over yet, but I have reached the 50,000 word count, so I'm done with NaNoWriMo! I have never been so tired of writing in my life! I will most assuredly take a break for a week or so.

I almost didn't finish. Friday I pushed very hard and hit the 41,000 word count, only to be rewarded by a melt down. As I reread some of what I had written, I was horrified. My plot didn't flow, the characters were flat, and to up my word count I had started doing really silly things. The worst was having the main character of my story go to story time at a library, and then writing into my story what the character would hear.

When it hit me that I had trashed my first draft I almost cried. All I was doing was giving myself a lot more work to do in the rewrites. I decided that NaNoWriMo wasn't worth it. So I put away my computer, ran a nice warm bath, and decided to chalk it up to a lesson learned. I evidently was not capable of writing 50,000 words in one month.

But then, as I relaxed in the bath, a miracle occurred. I realized why the holes in my plot existed, why the characters were flat, and even better I realized what I needed to do to fix it.

I was revived and energized. I stayed up until 2 a.m. Saturday morning fixing my novel.

I am glad I did. I once again feel good about what I have written, so instead of being distrait, I look forward to finishing this novel.

But most important, I have silenced that little voice in the back of my head that tried to convince me that I was setting myself up for failure.

I would give an evil little laugh myself, just for the fun of it. But I'm too tired.

Labels: frivolity, life, myth or reality, writing

It is time for a little update on my progress with NaNoWriMo.

I have not finished writing for the day, but my current word count is 27,408. So take that, you sneaky little voice in the back of my head that said I couldn't do it! I did not get sick, and I am way, way past the 3,000 words you predicted.

Where is that evil little laugh now?

There it is! There is the laugh.

Why the evil laugh, when I just told you that you have failed? My writing is coming along just fine. I am right on target. Slightly ahead as a matter of fact.

Oh. I guess you are right, I am far from finished. But no, just because I took a few minutes to write on my blog does not mean I have given up.

Does not!

Sorry, got to go. I've got loads more writing to do. I am on a mission to prove that little voice wrong.

Labels: frivolity, life, myth or reality, writing

The oddest thing happened to me this morning. I got my cup of coffee, started my computer, and sat down to write.

Only, when I reread what I wrote the day before, I was horrified. WHAT HAD I BEEN THINKING! It was horrible, the worst I have ever written.

I know that because of NaNoWrimo I am rushing through, but it was almost as if I hadn't even written it myself. It did not sound like me.

Is that whispering I hear? Jupiterians, is that you?

Hello Jupiterians! I haven't seen you for a while, I thought you might be gone for good. I'm happy to see you back.

What do you mean, maybe I won't be so happy?

Why are you so upset? What do you need to tell me?

Oh.

Well, I can't say I am happy that you deleted everything I had written and rewrote it for me. I appreciate the sentiment, but I would rather you let me do my own writing.

I don't care if you think what you wrote is better. I have a right to do my own work.

Yes, that is how I want it!

Well, fine to you too.

Don't cry, Jupiterians. I don't hate you. I can fix it.

Yes, I promise I can. I always save a copy outside of my computer every day I write. I can retrieve that one and start exactly where I left off yesterday.

Ah, the sound of giggles. Everything is back the way it should be.

Labels: frivolity, Jupiterians, myth or reality, writing

November is almost here, and so is the National Novel Writing Month. Every year I say I'm going to participate, and every year I don't remember about it until halfway through the month.

But this year is different. This year I'm all signed up and ready to go.

Except...well, I have discovered one problem. I'm a chicken.

Every time I've mentioned to my family that I plan to write 50,000 words in one month, a little voice in the back of my head does one of those evil laughs. You know, something like 'bwa ha ha ha ha'.

It is so distracting. And scary. It is like having Vincent Price living in my head.

I hate to admit that I'm afraid of that little voice in the back of my head. Although I shouldn't be, it is a powerful little voice, and it has had a lot of practice telling me what I cannot do.

I suppose I should be thankful that the voice is now focused on NaNoWriMo--it seems to have forgotten about all the other parts of my life. Yesterday it said, "you'll never be able to write 50,000 words in one month, why even try?" The day before it told me, "anything you write that quickly will only be trash, so give it up now and don't waste your time." Today it is saying, "you'll be sorry if you try it, you'll get all cranky and you'll only write 3,000 words and you'll get sick."

Hmmmm. Now that I think about it, the voice seems to be getting desperate, like it believes it will fail. And if it fails, that means...

50,000 words, here I come!

Labels: events, frivolity, myth or reality, world, writing

Labels: frivolity, life, myth or reality, writing

Success! (Or at least, half success!)

This morning I reached the halfway mark. I am now officially halfway finished with the last rewrites I need to do of the DTA. I was beginning to feel I'd never get here.

So much for finishing them all before the end of summer.

I don't understand what has slowed me down so much, but every time I start work the phone rings, or the dog barks, or my computer won't work, or something else happens to keep me from progressing like I should.

Giggles? Do I hear giggles? Jupiterians, are you here?

What do you mean, you hope I liked your jokes? What jokes?

You were the ones who called me on the phone and hung up as soon as I answered? You made the dog bark? You made my computer suddenly shut down? Why?

I see. They were great jokes. I can tell you really have enjoyed the pranks you've pulled.

What is that? They weren't just pranks, they were for my own good? How so?

Well I appreciate your concern, but I really don't see how getting the manuscript finished sooner rather than later will hurt anything.

You want to make sure I don't publish until next year? Well there is no fear of that now. But why will 2010 be a better year than 2009?

You say it is because of 20 divided by 10. And what exactly does 20 divided by 10 mean to you?

Yes, well, it is 2 for me too.

Laugh away, Jupiterians. Laugh away.

It must be a cultural thing.

Labels: DTA, frivolity, Jupiterians, myth or reality, publishing, writing

Don't tell Pepper, but I managed to get a picture of her. She is so camera shy. You would think I was a member of the paparazzi, and she was an over-worked movie star.

But before I show her new do, let me remind you of her old one. Note the dry grass. With her old fur cut, Pepper and dry grass were like the two connecting pieces of velcro. And just as hard to separate!

Since Pepper's visit to the salon I haven't had to de-velcro her a single time.

Here is what she looks like now (otherwise known as AFTER):





Much better, don't you think!

Labels: family, frivolity, life, world

The price for Behold the Eye trilogy has been lowered! Thanks for the new lowered price belongs to...

Pepper, the Wonder Dog!
Why do I call her a Wonder Dog? Well, she was getting so shaggy she looked like a little brown bear, and I had begun to wonder if she was really a dog.

You see, I've wanted to get Pepper's fur styled for a while, but she didn't want it, and she is from a stubborn breed. She let me know in no uncertain terms that she liked her fur long, curly, and matted.

I can't say I blame her. I also remember the fiasco that occurred the last time I took her for a fur cut. She left the pet salon scalped and humiliated. She looked like a naked mole-rat instead of a Schnoodle. She was embarrassed, and I was embarrassed for her.

So I had to be sneaky, which was okay since I had a plan. First I watched a few dog breed competitions on TV with Pepper, and I commented on how silly the shaggy dogs looked, and how great the groomed dogs appeared. I kept up my commentary throughout each entire show.

I noticed Pepper looking in my direction several times, which encouraged me to hope that my words were having the desired effect. (Although I must admit that due to the overgrowth of hair I was unable to read Pepper's expression, and she might just have been irritated that I was talking during her shows.)

When I felt we had watched enough pampered pet shows I put the rest of my plan into action. I laughed loudly at one well groomed dog told Pepper that understood why she wouldn't go in for a fur trim, that I bet she would hate to have such a stylish haircut.

Pepper just looked at me for a moment and looked away.

I asked what was wrong, and as she looked at me through her shaggy dredlocks I could tell she was ready for a change. So I told her that if she would gather up enough courage to trust someone near her with shears, I would gather the courage to go to bat with my publishers to get the price of my books lowered.

All is well that ends well.

Pepper is still camera shy, but if I get the chance I'll post her new stylish do!

Labels: Behold the Eye, family, frivolity, life, myth or reality

I'm confused.
I'm flabbergasted.
I'm, well...I'm puzzled, perplexed, mystified, befuddled, bewildered, and baffled.

I just don't understand what is happening on the air waves today (or now that so much is digital, I probably should say cable waves). First there was the normalizing of language that makes me blush. This language has never found a place in my mouth, yet I cannot stop it from bombarding my ears. And now...

Last night I heard the following sentence: "I need to make sure the bookcases are functionalability." 'Functionalability'? Why the 'ability'? Why not good old 'functional'?

I had heard this same man use 'functionalability' several times before, but each time I assumed I had heard wrong. Unfortunately, I had not.

What is happening? Is it bad education, bad memory, or, or, or...

Eeeeeek!
We're being attacked, I just know it! What better way to weaken a country than to break down communication. And what better way to break down communication than to create multiple subgroups with totally different vocabularies.

I can see it now. Within a few years, popular music afficionados will hold long conversations with each other that sound a little like: "Have you seen bleep bleep bleep bleep? Bleep ate all the Cheerios bleep bleep bleep. I need to go to the bleep store and bleep bleep bleep buy groceries." (excuse the bleeps, I don't say those kinds of words)

While those who take a more homey approach will say to each other: "I flipped it with functionalability and styleousness, so my houseability reached mountaineous proportions. I think it's because of the vertacalability of my clothes."

I cringe at the next step taken by the perpetrators of this dastardly deed. What will they do? What is in store for our national vocabulary, which is being disintegrated one misused word at a time.

We must save ourselves! Rise up citizens, protect your mouths and your minds!
Read a dictionary!

Labels: blogging, frivolity, life, myth or reality, world

Pepper finally agreed to sign her modeling contract and photo release. So now, after more than a year of mystery, Pepper's face and form can be revealed to her adoring public.

Her first pose I call "The Regal Schnoodle", and Pepper pulled it off royally! Unfortunately, immediately after this photo was taken Pepper began to look for better light.

She soon lost her modeling focus.

And the photo shoot had to come to an end.

Labels: family, frivolity, myth or reality

Sigh.

Pepper is outside barking again. Every morning, every night, and several times during the day she runs outside and begins to bark and howl and make all kinds of noise.

I'm trying to be patient with her, but I cannot figure out what she is barking at! There are no cats slinking across her territory, no kamakazee birds swooping down to steal her food, no militant squirrels marching across the fence to their acorn stash, nothing. I can find absolutely nothing that could make her bark like this unless....

Sigh.

Now that I'm listening for it, I can hear it. Chuckles, giggles, and guffaws. It's the Jupiterians, up to their old tricks. Again.

I wonder if it would be possible to train a dog to ignore something that I cannot even see?

Sigh.

Labels: frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality

It had been many years since I had a dog. As a matter of fact, the last time I had a dog for any length of time was when I was a child.

So did I forget what dogs ate, or are Schnoodles unique?

If Pepper (our Schnoodle) was allowed to eat whatever she wanted her diet would consist of 5 main food groups: the front yard, paper, wood, socks, and plastic.

It is bad enough that she eats our yard, but things inside our house aren't safe either. Around our house, "my dog ate my homework" isn't a joke, it is a fact. Anything left on the floor or on a low table is fair game for Pepper. Homework, books, credit cards, sunglasses, pens, pencils...you name it, she has probably consumed it.

I wonder who I should talk to to correct the name of her breed. She isn't a Schnoodle, she's a Schnoodloat.

They didn't really mean to leave out that she was part goat, did they?

Ummmm, or did they?

Labels: family, frivolity, life, myth or reality

I applaud your self-restraint! Not only did you stay away from my daughter's wedding--allowing it to be beautiful, wonderful, and event-free--but the absence of your pranks for an entire week was a wonderful respite. Just what I needed. I never knew you could be so kind.

What is that you say? You didn't know anything about the wedding? How can that be, when we've been preparing for it for months!

You've been gone on vacation for how long? Yes, I understand that it does take quite a while to travel back to your home world. And you being gone that long does explain you not realizing something special was going on.

But wait a minute, just last week someone moved my keys three times, the dog was acting crazy for no reason, and I tripped for no apparent reason.

Why are you snickering? What is so funny?

I am not forgetful, of course I realize the dog is still a puppy, and I do not have big feet!

Okay, I'll give you that. My feet are gigantic compared to your feet. Your feet are so tiny I can't even see them. But please, give me a break. Wouldn't I look funny trying to walk around in your shoes?

Labels: family, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality

I can't believe it! I simply can't believe it! If I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes...well, even seeing it I have a hard time believing.

I'm sure you wonder what I'm talking about, so I'll tell you. My dog has learned how to cook!

Don't believe me? Frankly, I don't blame you. I barely believe myself. But I've got proof, right here, right in front of me. An entire meal, hot and ready to eat, prepared while no one but Pepper was at home! (I've already called all my family and checked--no one has even attempted to take the credit.)

Even while in shock I can figure out what happened. I am guilty of underestimating Pepper's intelligence. Whether good or bad, and we have a genius dog.

It's funny. I had noticed the intense stares I received each time I entered the kitchen to prepare a meal. I simply thought that Pepper was just exhibiting the nosiness normal for Schnoodles. And, of course, that eternal hope that a little food would fall to the floor.

Little did I know that Pepper was watching me so that she could learn to cook. Amazing! I so misjudged her intense gaze.

But honestly, can you blame me? Has anyone else heard of a dog that could cook?

Hey, what is that noise? It sounds...I think it sounds...yes, it sounds just like the Jupiterians trying not to laugh too loud. Like when they play one of their jokes on someone and....

Wait a minute! Does that mean this was another of their jokes? Pepper hasn't learned to cook?

Sometimes life with the Jupiterians is a little too, well, unusual!

Labels: family, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality

No worries.

No, no, no, I'm not being insensitive or uncaring! This is all planned.

You are shocked I would be a part of this dastardly deed? What are you...oh...I understand now. You are confused about the fireworks. Maybe I should explain a little.

The Space Needle is not under attack. Every year, when a new year begins, people want to make a lot of noise and celebrate the new beginning. Kind of have the old year go out and the new year come in with a bang. To to this we....

No! We do not "sacrifice a building to the great one". You've got it all wrong, we are not blowing up the Space Needle, we're just making noise!

Well, I guess we just want to make a big show, you know, just because we can.

What? No! I do not want you to help out with the fireworks! That would be scary. I think the people in charge are doing a bang up job by themselves.

Yes, I know that you could easily bring down the building, but that's not the point. We want the building to remain unharmed, all the buildings.

Yes, I know you think we are missing out in the fun. But trust me, it is better that you let us celebrate our own way, even if you don't understand. We Earthlings are rather odd that way.

Well, why don't you just yell "Happy New Year"!

And a Happy New Year to you.

Labels: frivolity, Jupiterians, myth or reality, world

There are still a few days to go, but outside it looks like the perfect Christmas card.

Looking out my window I can see about 8 inches of snow piled up on our fence. It is still early morning, so there is very little contrast between the white of the snow and the pale gray of the sky. But still, it is beautiful.

What is it about snow? It can turn the ugliest landscape into a thing of beauty. Even town dumps are transformed. Gone are the dirty piles of trash and discarded couches, they are magically replaced by pristine white mountains, seemingly untouched by mankind.

I guess every so often, God wants to remind us that there is a ton of beauty in the world. We only have to look at things the right way.

So we are given the gift of snow. It is cold, wet, potentially dangerous, but painfully beautiful.

Thank you God.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Labels: family, frivolity, myth or reality, world

Step by gingerly step, Pepper cautiously inches her way across the yard.

The puzzled look on her face reveals her thoughts. What is this cold, white, wet mess that has hidden all the wonderful smells? Why does it stick to my feet? Will it hurt me?

Suddenly, she spots a lump in the snow that in some way looks familiar. Her innate curiosity resurfaces, and she trots over to investigate. Could it be, could it be....

Yes! Pepper jumps about in joyful glee as she digs her favorite toy out of the snow. The toy is cold and wet, but unharmed.

Pepper's whole demeanor changes in an instant. Fear is replaced by courage, cautiousness by speed.

A black blur races around and around the yard, defying slippery spots, overcoming hidden obstacles.

Pepper the dog, snow day racer deluxe. Zero to sixty in less than a minute.

Labels: family, frivolity, life

I am thankful for the many blessings I enjoy, and the most important blessing to me is my family.

Therefore, I am thankful for that first awkward, but strangely magical, blind date with my husband almost 25 years ago. Everything that could have gone wrong did. Which makes it important to remember that an uneventful date is a forgetable date.

Aren't I lucky that that first date was very like our marriage has been? Unforgetable, eventful, and full of surprises...surprises that my husband and I have learned we can always handle, as long as we handle them together.

I am thankful for my four wonderful daughters, who have all grown into beautiful, witty, intelligent, strong young women. I radiated pride yesterday at the family dinner when aunts, uncles, a grandmother, and cousins were able to partake of the numerous dishes my children had cooked, packed up, and transported to the get-together. To know that my children have grown to be so giving, so hard-working...it does make a mother's heart glow with joy.

I am also thankful for...what? You want me to let everyone know what you are thankful for? Why certainly, I'll read your prepared speech for you, though I am a little surprised. I didn't know Jupiterians celebrated Thanksgiving Day.

Let's see...it says, "We like to thank our fellow Jupiterians who have always given us support. We would like to show our gratitude to the Foundation, without whom we would not be here today. We would also like to thank the Saturnians for clearing a path through their moons so that we could make the great strides we have in space exploration. Without their help, it may have taken an extra millenium..."

Wait a minute, this speech isn't about Thanksgiving!

Yes, I know you are giving thanks, but it is not the same. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for blessings, not giving thanks to people. Okay, okay, so officially they aren't "people". Still, I don't think you get it!

What? You are positive you know all about it because you watched it on TV? You saw a show about Thanksgiving on TV?

Oh, I see. You saw the Academy Awards.

I think I'll just let it go. Some things are just too hard to explain!

Maybe I should find a way to limit their TV time!

Labels: family, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality, world

Jupiterians,

Word has been sent from your homeland that you are desperately needed there. You must drop any and all projects you have here, and zip back to your planet before it is too late. Quickly. Right away.

What is that? You think your project to slow down Viridia is too important for you to put aside?

But you must obey the call of your fellow Jupiterians. You cannot let them handle this crisis alone. They need your help. Now. Right now. This minute.

What is the crisis? Well...I think is is best that you get the details directly from those that are living the tragedy in your homeland. So you must hurry back.

Why did I get the message instead of you? Ummmm...well...there is a very good reason they sent the messge to me instead of you. They...they...they tried you reach you, but you didn't answer. They couldn't wait so they gave me the message to pass along to you.

The message? You must return at once before all the trees on your planet are destroyed. Your help is immediately and urgently needed.

Why are you looking at each other like that? This is serious! All the trees on your planet have developed a rare and deadly form of the Dutch Elm disease, and you must take a few of our trees back immediately so that you can start to replenish your forests right away.

Why are you laughing so hard?

Your planet doesn't have trees? It is made of gas?

I knew I should have paid closer attention in Astronomy!

Labels: Behold the Eye, frivolity, Jupiterians, life, myth or reality, Viridia, world

Okay, you Jupiterians. I know you're out there. Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

What do you mean, you are tiny compared to humans? Did I ever say you were bigger than humans? Or even than my dog, Pepper? Do you think that your small size makes it okay to not play fair?

Besides, where did you get the idea that "pick on someone your own size" only applies if the tormentor is bigger than the victim. Germs are tiny, and most humans would prefer if germs picked on someone their own size, like maybe other germs.

What? Of course I know it was you! Don't be silly.

Prove it? No, I can't prove it, but I know your style. You like to be sneaky.

Why do I believe you are the culprit? Come on! Why else would Pepper come running and screaming through the door like she did. I looked outside, and there was nothing out there that could have scared her, and she didn't have a scratch on her.

Ah ha! So you admit it, do you? That's good. That's a start.

But let's get this straight. If you want to slow down my writing, pick on me. Leave my dog alone!

Labels: family, frivolity, Jupiterians, myth or reality, writing