How to raise a bully

How to raise a bully in a few easy steps:

Teach child that he is entitled to everything and anything he wants. This is a very important step in the creation of a bully. The sooner he learns that his wishes are paramount, the sooner that he’ll stomp around the world like Godzilla on a rampage.

Tell child that she is smarter, stronger, and better than everyone else. Praise her for every little accomplishment, no matter how small or mundane. It’s good for her self-esteem to be given compliments without having to earn them and it will increase her anger and frustration when she hits a bump in the road of life. Her first instinct will be to lash out, which is just what you want when you raise a bully.

If you see your child skip in line, shove smaller children, or purposefully leave a child out of play, be sure to grin sheepishly and look the other way. He will understand that this is your way of giving approval.

But the most important step to raise a bully is to model bullying behavior. Children are hardwired to copy adults. When your child sees you act as if everyone around you is dirt beneath your feet she’s sure to follow suit. So glare, swear, and shove to your heart’s content.

After all, what we need in the world today are more bullies.

Right?