I’ve been vlapped! No once, but twice.
It happened this weekend. We had a family birthday party, and one of the guests, a 3 month old baby, was giving his parents a hard time. I could tell the parents were upset and tense (they are new parents and haven’t had him out after his bedtime before), so I offered to walk him a bit to calm him. I wanted to give the new parents an opportunity to enjoy the party and regain their cool.
I knew I could help, since I’d had plenty of practice with my own 4 children, nieces, nephews, neighbors, etc. I’m a pro at keeping the tension out of my body, which is key for calming irrate babies. A baby always knows if the person holding him is stressed.
Vlap! The father of the child told me that I would not be capable of helping. (Even though I’ve successfully managed to soothe multiple babies, multiple times.)
Okay, I thought. I’ll just back off. I’m sure this man who has been a father for all of three months knows loads more than I do about handling babies. I only have a mere 23 + years of experience.
The party continued, and the parents were unable to participate. After about an hour the baby was calm, but not asleep. I asked the mother if she wanted me to hold the little tike so she could socialize for a bit.
Vlap! The mother of the child told me I would not be capable of helping.
So there you have it, two vlaps in one party.
What? You have never heard the term ‘vlap’ before? It is a term I picked up from the Jupiterians–it means virtual slap. It is used all the time on Jupiter.
I like the term.
And in case you are wondering, a vlap hurts like the dickens–just like a slap.